Finally realise my husband may be emotionally abusive

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From the general and constant out downs. To making me feel like crap. To the things I've forgiven him for in the past such as going off and leaving me standing in the street during a night out, to the tweeting celebs like Jodie marsh. To the constant ignoring that goes on days on end. To all of it really. He has been ignoring me for days now, we both know it's over but we haven't spoken logistics of moving because he won't. He was all over ss yesterday to the point of nauseating. I text him when he drops ss home asking can we speak about things in an adult way when he's back he writes back "you are incapable of that". He comes back last night and says he wants to watch a film, I ask can we speak about things he says no. Comes gown late from work today again ignoring me. I had to go the doctor on Monday, nice he brought me I guess but ignored me the whole time just talking to ss it was disgusting. Also it turns out I have an infection brought on by stress. Go figure. The sooner we have a talk and figure out my finances so I can leave the better

There is no "may be" about

There is no "may be" about it.

I will repost this list:

BASIC RIGHTS IN A RELATIONSHIP

The right to goodwill from the other

The right to emotional support

The right to be heard by the other and responded to with courtesy

The right to have your own view, even if your mate has a different view

The right to have your feelings and experience acknowledged as real

The right to receive a sincere apology for any jokes you find offensive

The right to clear and informative answers to questions that concern what is legitimately your business

The right to live free from accusations and blame

The right to live free of criticism and judgment

The right to have your work and your interests spoken of with respect

The right to encouragement

The right to live free from emotional or physical threat

The right to live free from angry outbursts and rage

The right to be called by no name which devalues you

The right to be respectfully asked rather than ordered

This is from the book, "The Verbally Abusive Relationship" by Patricia Evans

Yes stayed for one night with

Yes stayed for one night with my sister but my name is on the lease here so I need to sort that and another place to stay so realistically I will be here the next month. I am going to ask him tonight to start sleeping in ss room.

In the UK, whether or not

In the UK, whether or not your name is on the lease you can get an exclusion order against him. If you are jointly on the lease you can sever the tenancy immediately. If you are the sole name you can terminate his licence to stay. None of this should keep you in the premises if you need to leave. You can also obtain refuge accommodation in emergency. If you are worried about the legal issues go to a CAB and get advice immediately, this is a simple situation legally.

Just had a talk there, it

Just had a talk there, it actually went surprisingly well. Took a whole of two minutes. I'll be much happier when I've found a new place though

Good. Now get out ASAP.

Thanks occ. I'm def working

Thanks occ. I'm def working towards it. At least I have money saved for rent and a deposit thank god!!!!

agree with all posts here.

agree with all posts here. abuse is abuse. the silent treatment is a form of abuse and manipulation. you are being punished/abused for not being what your husband wants you to be. he is also too close to his son and turning the boy into a mini wife.

search for that term here in the archives. i suspect your dh is a narcissist. he sees everything thru the lens of it all being about him. you are nothing but an object in his universe. his son, his flesh and blood, he sees as a mirror image of himself.

disengage from dh and stop caring about loving him and his inability to love you. find outside interests that make you happy. the stress you feel is a form of soul murder and it can make you sick. you are already aware of that and thats a start.

you should also read lundy bancroft "why does he do that." it covers emotional and physical abuse. there is also a workbook "should i stay."

the patricia evans book is also very good.

No this is an authentic

No this is an authentic poster but just very low self esteem and can't let go of whatever is the payoff for staying with this idiot. It's a question of what you've been brought up to tolerate. If you have accepted a culture whereby males openly lust after pictures of other women on their phones, screens, etc, you may have bought into the same shit yourself and therefore it's hard to spot the abuse in it.