We talk at the lowest level.  Time to break out the alcohol.  My in-laws are great.  We always have a great time.  They didn't have much to do with the ex.  

I now realize that my dad had similar feelings about my mom's brother. He basically gritted his teeth through visits that occurred every few years but always made sure we lived at least 1000 miles away. During those few visits he was the generous and charming host, but was able to do it because the visits were so rare. Now that he's almost 80 he's let it slip a few times about how he really feels.