Understanding Christmas as a stepparent. I don't think many get it. I have cried twice today because of SO. Once because I got cocky around my family though he says he fell in love with me cocky. Second because I was looking for a gift and he is worried about the kids...which I am too but I have pain as its a anniversary of a miscarriage and I had dreams about my unborn baby the other night. He won't give me the time to talk about it and is pissy I'm down but one it's not my kid yet I busted my ass and got him by either paying or shopping for it. and I have the what if thoughts. I just want to give up on everything.