***I posted this on my blog but since I really need some advice I thought I would post here too. Thanks!

I was pretty successfully disengaged from the skids for the past 9-12 months. I didnt think much about them, didnt have to deal with them. DH wasn't bringing them over to the house. Life was good.

Well the closer we got to the wedding (in October, mine and DH's)I was starting to get anxious about the skids being there and what antics they would pull. I had to deal with them a little more- who was all coming, how they were getting to/from the wedding, what they were going to wear,etc. And the more they had to be in my head, the more I wanted them out. The more I heard their names the more I cringed and was reminded of why I dont like them.

We make it through the wedding (where YSD and MSD gave me dirty looks) and I think- okay things can go back to "normal". Well I still felt very bitter about the skids and I found that I was focusing on them and how much I really dont like the people they are. I think it was the reality of Okay I am now married to their dad. I am now more stuck with them then I was before. So then I think that has just consumed me.

Now its the holidays. DH wants the skids around more. The more he pushes them on me and pushes for them to come over the more I resist and the more resentful I become. The more I just focus on how much I really dont like them.

They came over for Thanksgiving (http://www.steptalk.org/node/172546) and to me it was awful. Now reading the blog I posted about it, it wasn't THAT bad (I know it could be worse) but it's bad enough in my mind.

I just can not stand who the skids are. Period. Dot. I think they are so self entitled. I KNOW they do stuff to push my buttons and they know how to do it. They have a lot of BM qualities. MSD18 who has a baby is already following in her footsteps and getting on the system and trying to use everyone and everything she can. If these kids were anyone else's but my DH's I would never be around these kids again. Heck I wish I could never be around his kids.

Because MSD18 is a thief (has stolen from me on several occassions) I feel that I can't just leave her in the house without me watching over her. So I dont really have the option of just leaving when the skids are over. DH of course doesnt see her stealing as something that should keep her from the house. At one time he saw it that way, but for some reason not anymore.

I told DH before we got married exactly how I felt about his kids. I told him, DO NOT marry me if you cant live with that. When we got married (or leading up to the wedding) things were good with the kids. They didnt come over. DH would take them out to eat, movies, etc to visit with them. It was peaceful. I told DH if you think you're going to marry me and that is going to change anything- then we shouldn't get married. No, no nothing is going to change he says. But that is exactly what has happened. Now he wants them to come over again. In my head though I was preparing for DH to possibly go back on what he said, but in my heart hoping that he wouldnt, since he knew how I felt.

As far as them coming over, its uncomfortable for everyone. Me, the skids and even DH. So why do they come over?

I have turned into someone who is bitter and hateful. I find myself just stewing over how much I cant stand these kids. I am so anxious and stressed, waiting for the next time they are going to come over.

I dont like who I have become when it comes to the skids. I dont like that I am feeding into their b.s when they make snarky comments and actions. I am usually such a forgiving person but with the skids I just cant forgive them for the crap they have done to me. Not anymore. I did forgive and forget many times to be screwed over.

I am so angry with my DH for his lack of understanding. I am angry that he will allow a thief in our home, even though he knows how anxious that makes me. I am sad that we have been married 2 months and we have fought so much over the skids already.

Just to clarify- these feelings are mainly about YSD14 and MSD18. OSD21 I dont have to see or deal with and SS200- him and I are fine.

I need a reality check! I need a come to Jesus Moment before I allow these skids to bother me so much that I ruin my marriage.

If anyone has helpful, constructive advice I would really apperciate. And sorry but I really dont want to hear about how I shouldn't have married DH, blah blah blah. We are married and I am committed to making my marriage work.

I recogonize that this problem is part DH, part skids and part me.

Thank you!