I am done with the skids- mostly the girl skids. SS is okay and I can deal with him and deal with him being in my life.

When it comes to the girl skids I am just done. I would prefer to act like they dont exist. I know that doesn't sound very nice but that is how I feel. I dont wish any harm or anything bad. In time I may change my mind or be more open to things but right now I am just DONE.

Is this even fair to my DH? I know he is torn. I know he is looking at me like I am some evil woman who is forcing him to choose between his wife and kids. Which I am not.

He can see his kids whenever he wants, I just dont want them around my house. I dont want to hear about them. I dont want to talk about them.

This obviously comes after dealing with the bs time and time again. Repeated talks, make ups, then back to the same bs, lies, manipulation, STEALING (that is why I say I dont want the kids over- but more of that later). I opened my heart and forgave so many times, only to have the same disrespect and lies and drama and bs. Finally I decided I am DONE.

I am the type of person that I dont like drama and I dont keep drama in my life. If you screw me over, I will forgive you and possibly give you a chance or more, but once I decide I am done, I am just done. Over. I dont feel sorry for you anymore, I dont miss you. I act like they dont exist. I am sure it's a coping thing, but it works. Life is too short to deal with bad people in your life.

Skids are 14, 18, 20 and 21. They aren't little kids. In my opinion DH is a half ass father anyways. Maybe I would feel differently if he was (in my mind) a better father to them.

MSD has stolen from me. DH acts like it's not that big of deal and I need to "get over it". So that is why I dont want her over. But I can't say MSD can't come over, since there are other skids. Well fuck it- none of them can come over.

For almost 10 months before we got married (this past October) DH had no issues with the skids not coming over to the house. He backed me 100% with why I didnt want them over. He agreed- they steal, cause drama, lie- it's too much. He was fine with taking them to dinner, a movie or whatever. Then we get married and all of the sudden he wants to be happy family. NOW he wants to be a good daddy. Now he has had some kind of revelation.

So now he wants to be Dad and I feel bad because I am standing in the way of that (kind of or in his eyes I am sure). But only to protect myself.

I told him before we got married. DO NOT marry me if you think I am going to change how I feel about the skids. As long as they are the same, my feelings about them are the same.

I am open IN TIME to looking at the situation again. But right now I am just done. Quit trying to shove the skids down my throat. Quit trying to be a happy family all of a sudden.

Does anyone else feel this way? I feel like I am being selfish. But fuck! I just want some peace!