Ex and holidaying for the kids

Forums:

I usually post in mumsnet, which compare to here is a hideous place, this place is much less judgemental.

My ex has just invited me in a 3 day holiday that was booked a while ago. My kids are having a hard time with things at the moment due to various things but our break up is one of them, so she thinks we should do it for them.

It's been 8 months and not a good breakup.

I'm not sure what to do. I don't want to send confusing signals to the kids. Not interested in her. My son has said several times that he wishes I could come.

if I did go I feel like I need to have an honest conversation with them about it and that we are not getting back together.

Would love your thoughts. Thanks

While I comprehend your son's wish for you to attend, don't go

That injects far too much confusion into the situation IMHO. The risk of teen angst is just too high.

Good luck.

You just posted she

You just posted she introduced a boy friend to the kids. No. Just no. The sooner you can get to reality and facts and away from fantasy reunion scenarios the better. Be that rock of truth and facts for your kids. Resilience is a life skill that comes from struggle. Guide them through the disappointment of divorce. It will serve them in the long way better than pretending happy family.

^^^THIS^^

Absolutely.

I agree with everyone else,

I agree with everyone else, it sounds like fun if y'all are on good terms, but honestly could end up being very confusing to the kids

I think I've already made up

I think I've already made up my mind. Not a good idea, mixed signals. I think she realises now that the kids are still processing things and are highly emotional. I made it clear to get that I hope she understands why having a man stay over and meet them so soon was selfish and a bad decision. Maybe not my place but she would always tell me I'm doing this and that wrong in our RL.

She doesn't like being called out, will never admit it was a bad decision and can't see that she is less than perfect so to her it was a sound decision. I think she is feeling guilty,

Your right that it's her

Your right that it's her decision, but her calling you out during the relationship is not the same as you calling her out when y'all aren't together.

Maybe I'm biased but me and my dh started as sd and dds playdates. DH and I knew each other from high school, but hadn't seen each other since high school. We met back up through Facebook and saw we had kids the same age (as being 18 or 19 months younger than my oldest and only about 5 or 6 months younger than my youngest). From there blossomed romance... so you never know someone's situation on how they met and how early is too early, that's up to them... not to you