You are here

Emotionally Exhausted

sbm014's picture

Submitted by sbm014 on Fri, 05/31/2013 - 8:23pm

Forums: 
General Discussion

I'm not sure why I am emotional tonight. I know that there is nothing I can do but any words of encouragement? BM is being a bitch and for some reason I am in a mood where I feel like it is directly about me being in the life. Including when DH would normally pick SS up from school, because it is the last day and she found out I can work from home she refuses to let DH pick him up because I might ruin the "special moment" (he is in pre-k, never went to day care so his first year or being away during the day). I know that she would probably be a bitch no matter what but for some reason I can't get it through my head tonight that I am not the direct cause of all the problems....and I know I'm not I know how she did DH even before we got together.

I don't think he helps that at our house which is in the woods sometimes signal goes in and out so DH has been yelling at me and getting mad because he can't hear me. He says hes not mad at me but he hangs up and has made comments of I need to go get the booster I need to fix it - he picked the house. I just I feel exhausted and emotional.

He works offshore 3 weeks on and 3 off. The past three weeks, I finished moving stuff into our house, went a conference in a different state in which he got freaked out I was going to hurt him, and have managed all the bills, and the stress of learning a job I know absolutely nothing about while he sits there yes his tooth has been hurting but angry, he takes Aderall and when he stops has withdraws which make him not even want to talk to me until it's all out of his system. I just feel emotionally exhausted right now and I know most won't understand but I needed a place to express what is going through my mind.

sbm014's picture

Submitted by sbm014 on Fri, 05/31/2013 - 10:51pm

Thanks HUGS!

Well I got to see SS some tonight as DH's mom had him down the road to spend time with her boyfriends little boy, I got to bring him to the house to get some stuff to sleep with it was nice and a little refreshing as he was telling me he wanted his daddy to come home and to be at the house. It made me feel like a good stepmom and refresh that BM is just a cunt.

I know I need a drink I thought we had wine but I guess DH drank it before he left (I don't drink much). I did however come home lock the door and strip down to my tshirt which is relaxing, going to lay on the couch may even sleep here if I want, and tomorrow is sleeping in, and I think I'm going to get a legit pedicure and just have a day about me. I have been so busy that I think the exhaustion is wearing on me both physically and emotionally.

sbm014's picture

Submitted by sbm014 on Fri, 05/31/2013 - 11:02pm

I think I will laundry can wait until Sunday. I am just exhausted and its to the point it's not about the family it has to be about me for a day Smile Thank you Smile

emotionaly beat up's picture

Submitted by emotionaly beat up on Sat, 06/01/2013 - 3:44am

You get that pedicure, relax and treat yourself. Don't give so much of your love to others that you don't have any left for you.

sbm014's picture

Submitted by sbm014 on Sun, 06/02/2013 - 4:36pm

I went and got a pedicure tried to make the day about me, but MIL had SS so went and spent part of the day with him, and got to just be fun. It was very nice - no cooking no nothing...

Today I haven't gotten out of pajamas, I've done some house work but just relaxed. I think I needed a day that was about not getting dressed up and putting on a face but being able to just do nothing. I feel very refreshed.

bug's picture

Submitted by bug on Sat, 06/01/2013 - 10:58am

It sounds like maybe you and your DH should try some counseling. He is taking out frustration on you and that is not okay.

sbm014's picture

Submitted by sbm014 on Sun, 06/02/2013 - 4:44pm

I knew DH had anger issues when we got together - they come in phases. We have talked since I made the post and things are better. I don't really want to do counseling but we make time to actually talk about what happened and why it wasn't right.

He typically apologizes pretty quickly...one thing is he is very ADHD and especially when he is at work he will take his medicine faster and run out making him have withdraws and get angry. I have learned to ignore this, though I will say since we have been together and especially since when we started living together and all that he does try to watch how many he takes and not to abuse them to much. And he is not addicted - I have seen him go through phases of flushing them after he gets the prescription and not take it for at least a month. I feel like the main issue is he can't focus as much when he first gets off and is just frustrated with everything.

I know part of this probably seems like I am trying to justify it but I don't do well with him taking it out on me. I have left the house for a night to prove I wasn't going to deal with it a while back and that is why we now talk about stuff, and he has tried to not take as many of his aderall at once. He really does try to be a good guy.