CO Alterations; Anything else to add?
My fiance feels it is time to pursue alterations to the current court order and has asked me to post on here to ask for help/ideas on anything additional to focus on.
His main issue is the language used in the current court order is vague and has caused a few issues when he and the BM disagree. (Not helped that BM has changed her mind depending on who it benefits)
Would there be any extra bits that you would add?
• Right to first refusal: He has decided he doesnt want to include ROFR because he doesnt want to have regular contact with BM regarding visitation, he wants their schedule to simply be agreed to. He doesnt want to have additional calls from BM to have SD to enable her to go out.
• Alterations can be requested but not to be expected. Again this comes from BMs willingness to be flexible when it suits herself but not return the favour.
• Specific wording regarding 5th week months. Current CO specifies 1st, 2nd, 3rd and 4th weeks, absolutely nothing is stated over 5th weeks, sometimes he gains additional time, others not.
• Specific wording over whether a school holiday classifies as when school closes on friday or first day of school being closed on the monday, in addition, specifically when does the schedule return to "normal". For a two week break, if counted friday to friday, SD by father friday from school till following friday, then by her mother till following friday, does that final weekend classify as holiday period or normal arrangement.
• Ideally what he would like to put forward is two yearly calanders, one covering the even years, one covering the uneven years, so there can be absolutely no debate and communication only needs to occur if one parent wishes to swop/change their time.
• Financial responsibility for extra cirriculum acitivies, my fiance is happy for SD to take part in extra activities and he is also happy to pay 50% towards, however he wants to have it stated that BM must request approval if requesting financial help. If he chooses to decline and BM still wants to enroll SD then she can do so, but on the understanding she is then liable 100% for the costs of that/those acitivies. Also, he wants it stated that BM cannot enroll SD on clubs/activities that will interrupt with his time without permission.
• Financial responsibility for schooling/medical costs. There is only one problem with this part of the current Court Order, there is no specification of when BM must give him any relevent bills/receipt and/or whether she can back date. Again fiance is happy to be 50% responsible but he wants it stated that BM needs to inform him of any costs/bills due on a monthly basis and cannot wait till the end of the year and expect to bill him for the entire year.
• Telephone Contact. My fiance is happy to remain with telephone contact as a contact method, however wants it stated that if BM continues to be aggresive/desrespectful then communication is to take place in written form over email/text.
Given that alot of people here have been dragged through the courts a few times, are there any other things that you would recommend?
SD is 4, basic back story is
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My DH has a similar CO except
My DH has a similar CO except he has SS3, M-F and BM has him Fri &6 until Sun @ 6. During the Summer it is 7 and 7. The first year we did Sunday-Sunday which was great them BM decided to do Fri-Fri last year and it was terrible. Who knows what will happen this Summer. In any case your DH should put in there a specific meeting place and time for Holiday exchanges. Make sure you include Halloween and Thanksgiving in your list of Holidays. Also ours included that any Monday holiday (aka govt or school is closed) that DH gets SS unless he has to work then BM gets him for that day. I see a lot of others suggest to add something about braces if the child might need them, maybe put 50% cost of braces if necessary if you can. I can say the only real problems we've had with BM was that she ignored the part about Monday holidays and our "summer" isn't defined by a specific day so she likes to pick whatever. Oh and you might want to add something about communication like set up a specific day and time so that BM isn't calling all day everyday.
Child Support is intended to
Child Support is intended to cover extra curriculars/activities. i think your fiance is crazy for offering to pay 50% of activities.
for medical, in our state (MA) the parent who does not carry the insurance is responsible for the first $250 in co-pays. after that, it goes 50-50. BM is required to submit receipts within 30 days. oddly, she has never asked for reimbursement on any of SD's co-pays and we certainly arent going to remind her.
for college, my fiance's agreement has a cap. he is only responsible for 1/3 of the tuition only, calculated based up on the state college tuition. so basically SD could pick an expensive school, but regardless of the tuition, he's capped at 1/3 of whatever the state school is charging. BM is responsible for 100% of room and board. That's huge for us.