Does a better age exist?
Is there a good or better age when considering having the first "ours" baby? What do you guys think?
The topic of having a baby has been happening a lot between my partner and I recently. We have always been clear that we want children of our own but also that we do not wish to have them now. I have just had another 3 year implant put in as we both agree that whilst we enjoy being able to have child focussed time whilst SDstb4 is with us, we both cherish our time alone and aren't ready to give that up just yet. We have a number of things that we wish to do without children as well so in three years when this implant is due to be replaced we will see where we stand.
Naturally one of the things to consider when thinking about having an ours baby is my SD age, as stated she is soon to be 4 so whilst she is in school full time (live in Europe) she is becoming more dependant but naturally still needs lots of supervision. We cant help but feel that in another 3 years when she is then 7 years old would be a better for her in terms of her ability to understand as well as generally being more able to entertain herself when needed. Not to say that she would be evicted to her room all the time but you get my drift.
So I was wondering for those of you that have SKIDS and bios, what age were the skids when the first our baby arrived? Do you think there is a better age in terms of the SKIDs or do you think the arrival of a new sibling will be exciting or daunting depending solely on the whole circumstance rather than age?
*SD is becoming more
*SD is becoming more independent not dependent lol
My next eldest brother and I
My next eldest brother and I are 6 years apart. We have been close from the day our parents brought him home from the hospital. Mom and dad never tolerated any fighting and we had no choice but to be close. He is my life long best friend and even at 50 and 44 we seek each others time and advice.
Do not pace your next child based on the age difference between sibs. When you and DH are ready ... just do it. Just like the Nike commercial says.
Enjoy your time for now and enjoy a baby when it is time.
IMHO of course.
^^^this. People have been
^^^this. People have been debating the spacing of children since people have been having children. There's no "perfect age difference." Good luck : ) !
Read a book or article about
Read a book or article about Birth Order. It seems the general rule is every 6-8 years age difference is the same thing as starting over. My SD was 8 years old when my BD was born. 8 years between is like having an only child or an Oldest child all over again. SD has VERY little influence on BD (thank goodness) because it's too big of an age difference.
No matter what though, having a BD and a skid is NOT the same as having kids all with the same biological parents. It sucks either way. But, the bigger the age gap, the better. IN MY OPINION.
Here's a Bad Fairy comment.
Here's a Bad Fairy comment. I'm a grownup who had older step siblings. Don't expect it to be like your own relationships were. It could be disappointingly different. You don't yet know how your skid will react to your bio or how things will change for you either in your feelings. Keep the ages well apart so that you have an escape mechanism. If they are far apart in age but all goes well, they will be close. If they are close in age but all does not go so well, you then have worse conflicts to deal with than if they were far apart in age. In those circumstances, your idea of waiting til your skid is 7 is perfect. My first son was born when my youngest skid was 7. Things went badly in our attempt at blending and therefore I am very glad as the gap means the kids are almost of different generations.