Child and Family Investigator-What do they do?
We got papers in the mail from the 4th Attorney that BM has hired. It was a motion for the court to appoint a Child and Family Investigator to review parenting time and medicial decision making. The kids never come over here anymore as they want to stay with their mother and we prepared to already pay more child support. I read this CFI on the internet and it seems they come into homes, make reports, backround checks, etc. I am totally against this as the kids dont come over here anymore and partly because back in August the BM made allegations about how we care for the kids and we are neglectful, etc. I was tired of it because the kids didn't even want to come over here anyway. So we made a joint decision that they weren't to come over here anymore unless they wanted to (SS 17 SD 14). My DH sees them once a month for dinner,movies, etc. Worse yet I am pregnant and I am worried these CFI people will come into my home and write a report to the court that isn't kept confidential about how we live our life. This is just not right and I told my husband these CFI people aren't stepping a foot into my home to judge me, especially with a child on the way.
What do you all think?
child services
Believe it or not, they are very powerful. They have the option to remove children from the home on the spot.
KEEP IN MIND.... THEY ARE A GOVERNMENTAL AGENCY !!!
I knew a guy who had rent houses and he would call child services on the renters when they did not pay rent ( he's a creep) because child services would come in and do such deep investigations it would scare the hell out of most of the renters and they would end up moving, which is what he wanted, as they weren't paying rent and it saved him tons of money in the eviction process.
Child protective can delve deep into your life, your background and day to day life.
yes, you are right, they write reports and give them to the court. They are not going to be confidential with the courts, everything is wide open. Yes, they do judge you.
sorry but thats how it is... child protective is very powerful and has many powers. They will write reports and you have to let them in or they call the police and come in.
These are just facts... not my feelings.
If you fear them, I suggest you have bio dad see them outside your home and without you present.... dinner and movie kinda thing.
Before you say child services isn't right, you have to think about the many kids who are actually saved from bad situations.
I think child protective is a valuable and needed power, as they do a good service and help many people who need it.
I am posting a link so you can read an overview of the role of child protective services.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Social_services
How can they have a right to
How can they have a right to come in to my home when the children don't even stay here anymore? We decided not to have the kids come here anylonger because of some allegations she made in court documents about basically neglect, etc. She has a history of making allegations and she even sued her own father of sexual abuse in her mid 30s and she won. Her mother used to work in child services and this is literally scaring me. I told my husband that he can meet with the CFI folks outside my home (it is my home)but I won't participate. I can't even imagine having them come into my home and jeopardizing my own child because of her lies and allegations that are just whacked. They can't make me particpate, correct?
dont think you have those choices
if an investigation is started, KEEP IN MIND, they work for the govt and very powerful ( police assiatance) and they basically in a nutshell can do whatever they want.
If you are fearing some aspect of your personal life to be found out, they will find it.
yes, they can make you participate if they feel its needed... sorry but I want to let you know CPS is not something to take lightly.
They can and will do whatever they want, inclusing to come into your home. You will have no choice, so you better clean up whatever it is you fear they will find in your home life as they will not take it lightly to find pot or any drugs around.
On a personal note of my experience as a medical worker, I would say.... be warned, CPS is very powerful, clean your act up now as they can investigate whatever they feel is pertinent to the welfare of a child.
off topic:
this woman who made these alligations seems to know the system, you better get ready so your not surprised by CPS
because she has knowledge of CPS and how it works and you don't seem to. Clean up your act right away as to whatever it is you fear as they can come if they feel they need to investigate your home, you canot stop them from coming in. They will call a SWAT TEAM
( yes thats right, CPS has full police powers) if they have to, because if they want in, they will come in. You refuse to let them into your home it will only make them want to come in your home more....
period. CPS people don't mess around. They can get a warrent to come into your home in minutes as judges are very helpful to them and they are very powerful with full police and legislative powers... they can get a warrent so quickly it would make your head spin....( while they are still at the front door)
REMEMBER, THEY ARE govt, with full police powers !
what is it you fear?
better clean it up now.
word of warning : BE NICE ( polite, cooperative, just like you would be to a cop who stopped you while you were driving) TO CPS and do not threaten them !!!
I don't have anything to
I don't have anything to fear or hide. I was an awesome step mother.. I choose not to partipate in these lies and made up drama to disrupt my life during a high risk pregnancy. I will not put myself or my baby through this needless stress that is fabricated by a BM that is jealous and just likes the drama. CFI will have to produce a warrant to come into my home.. It is funny how people automatically jump to say "she must have something to hide" rather than just understanding that not everyone wants this type of drama and stress in their life.
from my experience
from over 20 years as a RN, doing home health on high risk infants/ newborns, I will tell when someone starts
saying "don't judge me" its a huge red flag. Just letting you know.
People with nothing to hide never say "don't judge me" because its not about judging, its about getting facts.
Those words are red flags in the CPS arena, I should know as I have had to call them on people before in my work.
I am only letting you know, you will have NO POWERS to stop them from doing whatever they feel like they need to do.
I dont care if your delivering a baby in your bedroom, if they want in, you will not be able to stop them.
so whats wrong with cooperating with them?
I would be ok with cps coming to my home because I know they would see I have nothing to hide and would quickly drop any
investigation. I dont see why you would fear them if you were doing nothing wrong. They may even be able to help you with your high risk preg if your having troubles with that.
I am only telling you what you asked and warning you not to mess with CPS, they are very powerful and you can't tell them what to do.... or if they can come into your house or not. If they want to and feel they need to, they will do it, no matter what.
Maybe bio mother is trying to do something legally to take this route.... full custody or something, not sure but safe to say she has a goal in mind in doing this investigation.
You can sit there behind
You can sit there behind your computer screen and judge me all you want. I simply asked for advise on this post not a judgement and slam because I won't let people into my home to defend myself against lies and allegations that aren't true. Let someone else on this site provide their comments without judgement.
thats an example
of what not to say to CPS.... don't threaten them because you will be blown away at what they can do and how quickly. I suggest you fully cooperate with them because they can be a persons worse nightmare.
about 5 years ago, a woman who lived across the street from me, someone called CPS on her and she would not let them in....
within 10 minutes, 6 police cars were outside her door, and CPS not only went in, right then with the police behind them.
CPS... they did an ongoing investigation on the kid for a few years too. They don't mess around. They have as much power as any LAW ENFORCEMENT would. You do not tell them what to do, just like you wouldnt tell a cop what to do if he stopped you for speeding or a broken headlight.
CPS- They can take your kids away, get court orders ( amazingly fast as in minutes)
take your computer to be checked, have cadaver dogs come into your house if they deem it.
I'm telling you....
COOPERATE with them and save yourself the hassle of finding out the hard way just how powerful they are and can be.
NOTE: When dealing with CPS, remember:
YOU ARE DEALING WITH LAW, and with ALL powers of the LAW.
You ( or anyone they are dealing with) gets ignorant with them, your going to jail. Its that kind of law, to give you an accurate picture of what your dealing with.
BE NICE TO THEM ( be helpful and polite)and COOPERATE ! or they can be someones
WORST nightmare... that is advise in case you don't see it...
maybe the best advice anyone will ever give you about how to deal with CPS-
and YES they can investigate something that happened some time ago,
even if the kids are no longer coming over.
I worked as as CFI and
I worked as as CFI and victims advocate for 5yrs. What I looked for was if the home was clean, by that I mean clutter is fine. Also if there was food in the house like milk, bread, all the basics. I only recommended removal from maybe 2% of the homes I investigated. Those were extreme circumstances and would give you nightmares. One other thing that I looked for was if the children had somewhere to sleep. CFIs are not ogres looking to take your kids, they are there to make sure they are safe. Please don't make them out to be the bad guys.
Thanks Crayon. I appreciate
Thanks Crayon. I appreciate CPS workers and I am sure they are protecting our children from really bad people out there, but in my case it just doesn't make sense for them to come into my home when the children haven't stayed the night since Aug 08. Unlike what TinaFay is inferring I have nothing to hide but at some point in your life you have to stick up for your own rights. This is just another low tactic that the BM is using to make my H to be out to be the "bad" parent. It doesn't matter that he pays her 2300 dollars in CS and Alimony per month. That isn't good enough for her she has to create drama and live her life with constant poison. I refuse to live my life like that anymore. In addition our BM has had a history of reporting abuse and taking advantage of the system. She did it to her own father when she was in her 30s and sued him for money. I don't trust her and I never will. She has made allegations in court documents in Aug 08 and now again asking her attorney to appoint this CFI person. My H is going to file a response that a CFI isn't necessary but I am not sure if they will rule that way, that is why I needed to have some advise. This is my home and not my H. I had this home before we got together and I am the only one on the loan. I would think that would give me some rights here especially since the kids don't stay with us anymore.
I have considered calling CPS on husband ex
because of how she let boys sleep over with my husbands daughter when she was in high school, but I realized since they would deny it as both mother and daughter were OK with the plan, it would be useless.
Instead I had to have faith God would settle the matter in due time and now that stepdaughter is almost 20 and looks and talks like a old, worn out drunken prositute with a bad attitude. I feel God is working on them.
There would be little CPS could have done if both denied it. I'm just glad she didn't get knocked up at age 15 and finsished high school. Step daughter has already had several live in bf's, soon the bf's are going to start robbing the home and doing more than just throwing bricks through the windows.
In my case, CPS would have done no good since kids were older and mother was behoind anything they wanted to do.
God will have to work this one out, which he is as the drama is high in their house, so much it has helped husbands bio son to make the choice to graduate early and get away from his crazy sister and mother. HOORAY !
(No subject)
:O
With CPS its often the case
With CPS its often the case that its better to be safe than sorry and yes if someone is putting up any form of resistance for any reason it sends red flags. Without wishing to scare you but the last thing you want as a pregnant woman is CPS having a red flag by your name.
If the children havent been there in so long that can be raised at the point that they are coming or are present, you can by all means state that you are happy to co operate in any means necessary and ask the question, does the investigate need to include a house visit given the circumstances that the children havent been present at the home address since date xyz?
But by not co operating and with holding permission just makes you look bad and by their very nature CPS judge.
Its a pain in the ass and its irritating to know that BM has been able to cause this little twing of drama for you but does it need to be made into something potentially more distressing?
With CPS its often the case
With CPS its often the case that its better to be safe than sorry and yes if someone is putting up any form of resistance for any reason it sends red flags. Without wishing to scare you but the last thing you want as a pregnant woman is CPS having a red flag by your name.
If the children havent been there in so long that can be raised at the point that they are coming or are present, you can by all means state that you are happy to co operate in any means necessary and ask the question, does the investigate need to include a house visit given the circumstances that the children havent been present at the home address since date xyz?
But by not co operating and with holding permission just makes you look bad and by their very nature CPS judge.
Its a pain in the ass and its irritating to know that BM has been able to cause this little twing of drama for you but does it need to be made into something potentially more distressing?
I am surprised a Government
I am surprised a Government Agency is court ordered to do this - seems top me CAS is more "act on their opwn" and something "court appointed" is usually more of a private custodial assessor who has zero power expect to recommend and/or report anythign of absolutel concern (to CAS in fact)....no?
The way to fight is by saying they don't come anymore. They are old enough to speak up about abuse/living arrangements etc - why waste the money and resources?
Completely irrelevant NOW, of
Completely irrelevant NOW, of course, since this post is almost 5 years old. I wonder what ended up happening? Any way of finding out if aka is still active?