FH Blamed Me for SS10's Behavior - I Ended the Relationship - Need Advice
Today FH got up for work and like clockwork SS10 asked him if he could be let off punishment early. He has two days left! His entire punishment has consisted of CPS visits, false police reports, running away etc.
I have had it up to here and told FH that his son has behavioral problems. However, even after his son got him arrested for child abuse (see other thread) FH says "I need you out of my life; he was more well behaved before you came." That is not true! His son was cursing out the principal and lying long before I arrived and FH wouldn't know how he was because he is at work all day and leaves him home alone!
I asked him if he was sure and he said "yes." So I purchased my plane ticket and I am out of here. I am looking forward to going home and leaving this drama behind.
I am so glad that I didn't marry him. I did nothing wrong and the CPS social worker even stated that I have been unfairly demonized from the start.
Any advice.
No, I was visiting them. I
No, I was visiting them. I live in another state. I feel so hurt because I did everything I felt was right and then my fiance turned on me and blamed me for everything. I am the 4th woman to walk. I really feel like I have been crucified.
Good riddance! I am so sorry
Good riddance! I am so sorry but he is an asshole plain as that. He SERIOUSLY told YOU to leave because HIS son is a rotten little shit?? Excuse my French but bitch please! Count your lucky stars and start looking for Mr.Right and be glad the douche showed his true colors BEFORE you married him. ((hugs)), breakups suck but I truly believe this was a good thing for you.
yes and I stood by my fiance
yes and I stood by my fiance as he punched walls near my head, threw things and just had an overall explosive temper for the past two years. His son got his attitude honestly. I'm so upset because I tried so hard to make this work. I really hate him and his kid. I am so glad that I am leaving in the morning though. I see now why his ex wife has a permanent restraining order and took his other son away from him. I feel blessed that I have the option to leave. No woman will want to tolerate the violent tempers of a kid and his dad.
I am dog person. My dad
I am dog person. My dad helped me pay to get out. I will NEVER come back to this apartment. I am not going to lie and say I won't miss my fiance a little but at this point I plan on getting home and turning my phone off and just thinking. I also have therapy with my therapist in my home state tomorrow. I am going to feel so embarrassed to be telling everyone that I had to break my engagement.
Ok, that's what I will tell
Ok, that's what I will tell them. I gave up a lot to be here and I glad that I never moved in with them permanently because all I had to do this morning was pack my duffel bag.
I just feel so ashamed because I let my fiance punch holes in walls, yell at me and just scare me in general because I was afraid to lose him and for the first 4 years of our almost 6 year relationship, he was never ever so rage filled.
I have deactivated all my social media accounts and started deleting my email addresses. I wish I could've left today but I couldn't afford the ticket.
Just feel so ashamed.
I know. He's trying to be
I know. He's trying to be nice now but I am so excited to be leaving here. I leave tomorrow morning. I have an early morning flight.
I am InactivistMama- I'm all
I am InactivistMama- I'm all packed and excited to be free of this drama. Thankfully my dad has been supporting me through all of this and our relationship is normally strained. I could never live here and as much as I do love him; this is unhealthy for me.
My fiance wanted me to leave
My fiance wanted me to leave and for us to still be together but seeing what i would be marrying into makes me physically ill. I could have worked with him on his temper because he'd gotten a lot better and we'd been in premarital counseling but his son's behavior made everyday a fight and I have never felt more afraid to sleep in my entire life.
He said he wanted you out of
He said he wanted you out of his life, but he still wanted to date you?? SMH
This is best. Take some time to get on your feet and then find a man with no kids!
Yeah, he does that a lot.
Yeah, he does that a lot. He'll say "I want you out of my life" and then be asking me to marry him. He expected that I'd go home but we'd still be together.
You're right; I need a man with no kids or w/kids who are not in his sole custody.
I also need a man with an even temper.
Oh please please get out and
Oh please please get out and stay out. He wants you to GTFO but to "Date" you (cough, he wants to still get nookie and entertainment, but for you to get out and not bother him or his darling mini-me). Please don't go back. They are both violent and they will both end up being physically aggressive and abusive to you if Dad is already punching walls right by your head? He isn't going to get better "because you luv him so much you fix him", no no no! So many women think this and its so wrong.
I am so proud of you for having the strength to leave. I wouldn't even refer to him as fiancee or ex-fiancee unless you had a ring ON your finger and a wedding date set, otherwise you just left a bad boyfriend and leave it at that, you don't have to explain engagement or anything.
Fortunately, we aren't
Fortunately, we aren't intimate; he can't count on any nookie with me staying. He will need to find a babysitter.
We were officially engaged; I have a diamond ring and we had a wedding date and a wedding planner. So I'll have to explain everything to my family because we were having a destination wedding. He's now texting me saying that I misunderstood him and that I am not the cause of his son's problems. I think he is shocked that I bought the ticket so quickly.
I will say that for 4/6 years he was not an angry person at all. Then when he started being angry; we saw a therapist and the behavior went away. However, with all the drama with his son it reemerged. He needs to fix himself and I wish him much success with that but I am in my twenties and I don't need all this drama.
You are absolutely right; if I stayed in this house I'd have daggers from two guys coming at me. I'm happy about the timing because starting this week; therapists, child experts and CPS intervention personnel will be permanently visiting the home to provide "treatment" following the child abuse charge. I do not want to be apart of that and I told the social worker that when she came last week.
Sux to be making my plans and
Sux to be making my plans and have the kid listening to everything next door. I hate that his evil, ill mannered behind will believe he's won by getting me to go away. I guess he'll ultimately fair worse as he is being improperly reared and will undoubtedly grow up to be a failure.
True, I need to focus less on
True, I need to focus less on that. I just hate that I was doing so well with my ex fiance for like a year and we were so happy and then this little kid started orchestrating drama and it worked. You're right though; he will have a miserable future because he has no morals and for 10 that is truly sad.
Boarding my plane to freedom
Boarding my plane to freedom in a few minutes. Ex fiance cried dropping me off. I still love him but I was so happy to zip past his demonic son this morning. I called the CPS case worker and told her she's dealing with a future sociopath who now believes that he has all the power. She seemed alarmed; I told her that he needs serious mental help and that I'll never live with him again. I also let it slip that satan junior was caught googling "cps" this morning. God that felt great!
Advice? GO on vacation, drink
Advice? GO on vacation, drink lots of fruity drinks and celebrate your new found freedom.
Go decision, don't second guess yourself.
I plan to hit the beach right
I plan to hit the beach right after I land!
Don't look back don't
Don't look back don't diminish what has really been going on two emotionally and mentally abusive people you've been with you don't deserve what he and his son are doing to your life RUN!
Thank you Lalena I never
Thank you Lalena
I never felt like I had a choice and now I feel free!
Yes, my flight landed a few
Yes, my flight landed a few hours ago; I am back home in my bed. It feels good to be worry free for a change. Ex has been pretty nice and apologetic, surprisingly. He says he realizes that he messed up a good thing. Thank you ladies so much for your support. I don't know how I would have made it without this forum. You're all some incredibly strong women.