After 15 years it is as bad as it was before
Hi Im new here. I never post in forums at all. I have been married to my DH for 15 years and we have 2 beautiful little girls.I have a SD that is 18 and a BM that will never stop.She is supposedly bipolar and has BPD but does not go to the doctor for it. We moved 2 states away becasue she has harassed us from day 1.She is super controlling and she has my SD convinced that she has a new disease every week. My SD is afraid to drive,of boys and goes to school 2-3 days a week becasue she is "tired" from her "illnesses".
Without getting into everything(there is too much)we pay almost 1000 a month and she tells us its peanuts.We pay until age 22 if she is in college.She is unemployed but has CS from someone else and a live in boyfriend,We are broke beyond belief and in debt.We moved to get away from her and becasue we couldnt make it where we were.
We have started a new thing with BM. We decided we will not spaek to her unless it is an emergency. She has cell phone numbers and the home number and she likes to call 2-3 times a week to argue. My SD calls us maybe 2x a month after calling her and leaving messages.Well the ex is losing it! I think this is making her crazier than anything. }:) Honestly we cant take it anymore. My DH has had shingles TWICE from the stress.
We used to visit SD about every 6-8 weeks,stay with family and she would come out to us for a month in the summer and winter break.That has not been good enough for them.BTW when we are there half the times SD is late coming over or goes home early and BM calls and bothers us the entire visit.My DH has done all he can for SD.My SD is all about her mom.When we lived near them she would drive by constantly,threaten me and my DH over the phone,you name it. I actually had a miscarriage right after a huge blowup with her.Im just so tired of it all.now we are in the home stretch and I feel like its never going to end.I hate to say it but I have become such a bitter and cynical person.The total opposite of what I was.
Anyway sorry to be a downer--LOL--just been a rough week.I really just wanted to introduce myself and thank you for having this forum to say things that you would never be able to in real life because then we're the EVIL STEPMOTHER! 
Lets put them all on an island together far far away! How about Antartica? }:)
One thing to do would be to
One thing to do would be to think of it as a charitble donation you can't claim on your taxes.
If your SD wants to live a stunted life under the thumb of her lunatic mother then let her do so. SHE is missing out and once she is away from High school it may all hit home.
I heard thru my s/sons how their mother finds it REALLY hard to cope over the past 18 mths. Funny, that would be about the time she got a drop in CS because their oldest turned 19 and CS was cut.
It always annoys me that CS is paid out of post tax income and the recipeint doesn't even have to declare it as income.
ANYWAY, see it as a lost cause. And as for the BM, ignore her or screen your calls. Build up a wall of dispassion. Address emergencies as you see fit otherwise they are on Plnet Loopy.
It is sad but in time the girl may come around.
Yes she was diagnosed BPD
Yes she was diagnosed BPD years ago and insisted her husband at the time(not my dh)paid off the therapist,My SD is a lost cause unfortunately.She wants to live at home for college next year and her mother is going to drive her.She was picked up by the BM at her prom because she didnt want to hang out afterwards like all the other kids
.My DD has a chronic illness.Right now she is in remision but my daughter went through hell from age 9-12.
So far my SD has had-extreme allergies-could eat only chicken and pasta-was allergic to everything else-berries,peanuts,legumes etc etc.They all went away.Its a miracle
Then it was rheumatoid arthritis.Another miracle.Lets see fibromyalgia(were still holding on to that one since it cant be proved or disproved),urinary tract problems,lymphoma because her lymph nodes were swollen and now we are up to PCOS.We just nod our heads and move on.It makes the BM crazy that we dont take it seriously.She is actually jealous my DD has gotten extra attention from her illness from others.I wish I could give it to both of them.Seriously.
I would never leave my husband.I love him to death and I love my family.We have made 15 years married. I would never want her to win anyway.I may be a tad sadistic,LOL or a glutton for punishment.Anyway he has finally opened his eyes to the SD.She is very manipulative like the BM.The BM knows we wont talk to her now so she tried saying she had to talk about a medical problem and my DH said do what you wanna do-Youve never listened to amy of my advice in the past.Her response?Go to hell.LOL
Hopefully other cases here wont be as extreme as mine.I believe we are dealing with a mentally ill BM and SD unfortunately.With a touch of munchousen too.
I understand. 10 years in
I understand. 10 years in and DHs last kid is 18 in June. No college will be in the future for that idiot.
I don't really want to send BM to Antarcita as much as I want her to choke on her spit while she is sleeping tonight.
Welcome to the site. You will find peace, comfort, and solace in these pages. You can share our victories, help when we are defeated, and feel better in general!!
Well I figured as a new
Well I figured as a new poster I shouldnt go so violent just yet
. But I like the choking on the spit!Believe me I have had fantasies about them disappearing.Be glad youre free.My SD will go to college forever unless they drop her for absences.She insists she wants to be a teacher even though shes never at school.
She goes into all her classes 1 day then is "exhausted and sick"and misses the rest of the week on and off.Magically shes fine on vacations(especially expensive ones), weekends and field trips.She brown noses and makes up work at home.Mommy goes up to school and talks to the counselors for her sicknesses and her daddy abandoning her.(We moved a few years ago but saw SD at least every other month.She was fine with it when BM had a cool boyfriend.After he was gone she missed us so!)
Her reward?A partial scholarship next year! She has a 94 average which is good but she misses 40-50 days a year plus partial days!I told my DH Id be ticked if my kid had a 90-95 average and went to school and didnt get anything but she basically phones it in from home and gets rewarded for being teachers pet and manipulative.
Oh Ive seen it all.Right now Mommy has another new boyfriend so DH's name has been mud for the past year.This time he has opened his eyes and called her on it though.Money is extremely tight but Ive done it for 15 years whats a few more? :?