9 yr old SS throwing MAJOR attitude!
So today was interesting.. Yesterday I fell into a depressed state, basically because my 9 yr old SS is making life miserable today. The last week if school, he went two out of five days, due to snow days and PD days. I can barely handle the two day weekends!! My life is miserable because the lack of caring to do things (ie:chores/ homework), the way he speaks to me so disrespectful, and his lying like it's the last lie he's ever going to tell so he makes it so good you start to question yourself! Today, he had the ultimate attitude. Stating he will not do what he's told, stating he hates his bio dad and me because we discipline him, which is something his pathological liar/manipulative mother would never do and he would rather live with her (as we have heard for months). Is this normal at 9, because I am a little worried at the lack of respect for authorities he has. His dad took him to town and bought him candy, let him have a pop, as long as he agreed to keep the attitude low. Warning after warning he finally pushed us too far. Get angry, the kid rebels. To be honest, I'd be satisfied if he went to live with his mom as she has stated she cannot handle him longer than two weeks, yet pursuades/lies to try and convince the kid he can live there (only so she can collect over 1000$ a month for child support). Ugh what did I get myself into?!
This is normal for a kid who
This is normal for a kid who gets candy and pop when he does it. As a kid, I would continue doing almost anything I'm rewarded for. The solution - stop rewarding bad behavior. Decide on what the rules are going to be with your DH, figure out how you will let ss know these rules and how you will teach and model them to him, then consistency, consistency, and more consistency. Whenever he starts pulling his old rebel without a cause act, go back to the plan that you laid out.
One other piece of advice, days off need to be as structured as possible. Have there be items on the agenda that are your choice, and some that are his choice, but he should know what to expect. Challenging kids thrive on high structure environments.
I know, I have one myself...
Daddy is the problem as
Daddy is the problem as others have said. I would tell him that you're not babysitting any longer and he is to make arrangements for after school care which can be expanded during the days off school and vacation periods such as summer and Christmas.
Then read this article and fully implement it:
http://steptogether.org/disengaging.html