BM ruining SS life! (And ours)
So lately when BM drops off 9 year old SS he is just unhappy and bitter to be home. Basically counting down the days until he gets to go back. BM now has a new bf (third one since Sept) that SS I think really encourages BM situation. Basically make their lives look perfect, enticing SS to want to love there full time. At BM he has no chores, and apparently she tells him if he lives there he would have less chores than at his dads house. We have to fight to get her to take him, we are filing with maintenance because she refuses to pay child support ( at which she claims she will hide from them and beat the system) third residence since sept. Third or fourth job since April, and SS and her can't figure out why we don't want him living there??? Now when SS is home life is miserable because we spend our time trying to cheer this kid up and try to make him see we aren't bad we are just caring parents until he goes back the next scheduled weekend and it all comes undone. I get frustrated with SS because he is so bitter. He can't even say love you back when his dad says I love you. I honestly want to grab the kid and show him what a spoiled ungrateful little brat he is. He has everything here, and no matter what he's seen his mom treat us like, we are still the bad guys. So irritated!!!
I didn't read anything that
I didn't read anything that the ex-wife said that you could take her to task for in court so there is no help there.
At this age and with you being the step-parent, i.e. the one with absolutely no authority, my suggestion is that you disengage from the boy.
My advise to the father should he ask me would be to continue to parent the boy as he thinks best and when the kid enters high school let him live with his mother if that's what he wants to do. All one can do is be the adult and parent as he cannot control the mother.
I know its heartbreaking for you now and Dad will feel the same when he leaves but its inevitable.
I'm waiting for SD8 to decide
I'm waiting for SD8 to decide she wants to move back with BM. She has already said 'when I'm older I can take care of myself so it doesn't matter that she didn't take care of me, I'll just take care of myself' Yep, sounds like a good plan. Good luck with that.
It's the same thing with BM - no rules, no chores, apparently SD doesn't even have to shower if she doesn't want to, it's all play time. It doesn't matter that on many weekends the only time SD even sees BM is when we drop her off and when we pick her up, SD gets to play and watch TV and not do anything educational or constructive and that's all that matters to her. BM raised her to believe that hard work is pointless and if you whine or yell (or flirt) enough, someone will do everything for you anyway so putting any effort into anything is just stupid. (Which makes me wonder why SD thinks she'll actually be able to take care of herself when she gets older....)