11 yr old son feels left out, Help?
DH told me the other day that BM got 2 tickets to a NFL game and wants him to take his son. Now I know that this normally wouldn't be that big of an issue but considering that my son lives with us all the time and his father is out of his life and that he never gets to do anything like this EVER makes me want to cry. DH's son was here over the weekend bragging about getting to go to the game with HIS dad and that it was only them going. My son just looks at me and at that moment I knew exactly what he was feeling. I completly felt awful and didn't know what to do. I did explain to him that we DID NOT buy the tickets and that if we ever did buy them that he WOULD be included but that since we didn't get them and that he is SS's father that it would be only right for him to take him. My son acted like he understood but said why can't I have a dad to do that with me? This broke my heart because we honestly do not have the money right now at all to get something like this and not to mention we have an 8yr old as well so if we got him a ticket the 8yr old would feel left out. DH acts like it isn't a big deal and that just because we didn't buy the tickets that everything should be ok and understood. NOT TO AN 11 YEAR OLD!!!!!!! DH says that he is here with my son all the time and only sees his on the weekends and that he never gets an opportunity to do anything with him alone! Ok, well I never get to mine either except maybe grocery shopping WOOHOO! What should I do? How can I get DH to see that this does affect my son and what could I do or should do to help out the situation?
Aw, I can see why your son
Aw, I can see why your son feels sad. Your explanation to him was good.
As far as your husband not understanding...well, that's not very nice or sensitive of him, but I'll give him the clueless male benefit of the doubt, I guess...but could you frame it as how would his son feel if he were the one excluded because something didn't fall on his weekend? Your DH is probably not self-aware enough to realize he is justifying this to himself because it's something he wants.
Awe..this made me sad. Your
Awe..this made me sad.
Your explanation was perfect.
My SD11 really loves her play dates. I know it doesn't make up to going to an NFL game, but on the day of, maybe a plan a little activity for BS11 and a friend? Go-Karting, laser tag...something like that?
Have your DH explain it to
Have your DH explain it to him over an ice cream cone. Hearing it from him might be good. Men are such clueless boobs- you might want to remind DH to give him a hug at the end of the convo. Hope this helps.Poor kid. And tell DH to tell SS to quit bragging about it, that's cruel behavior anyway that should be nipped in the bud. OP on here suggested a squirt bottle of water for bad step behavior, it'd be funny to give SS a face full the next time he brags!!