look at it this way,
say to yourself
I have more free time I want to start a new hobbie
I need more love in my life I will get a pet.
I want more out of this life I will pay more attention to my needs and wants.
I will volunteer.
these people are toxic to you nonmom..do more for you!!

"Better a diamond with a flaw than a pebble without one."

What do you mean they don't need you? I think they do, they are just too thoughtless to acknowledge it. It would be like giving you too much 'power'. I am like you, I really wish I did not need that recognition but I do and that is all there is to it.

Re. SD, ok, let them have their way. Let her flunk, smell, whatever it is that they don't do correctly, just let them do it and try to ignore it. She isn't your child to reflect on you (I struggled with this too) and now just always make sure anyone who knows me and her knows, she is not my child.

They are forcing you to be this way, so try to let it go! for a while. Because eventually DH will probably say, what do you think we should do about SD. But make him do that. If he doesn't, oh well! If you are 23 you will probably have your own kids one day that can be raised the right way, ya know-! LOL

I like the spend your time on you idea. I take weekly dance class (bellydance) and I love it and it does not cost very much and you don't need a partner, it is total girl time. I am also a huge reader and political and news junkie, even if you don't get physically involved you can be mentally involved with something outside the family.

Start running, join a club - do something with any extra time you have, without them! Since they don't need you so much, ha ha! I think that will open ALL of your eyes.

"A lie told often enough becomes the truth." - Vladimir Lenin

And had times where we have questioned ourselves and our decision to marry a person with children. I hate to hear that your husband says he doesn't need you. My husband would fall to pieces without me, and he tells me that in not so many words. I'm assuming (you know what they say about that) that you are young from your screen name. If you are only 23 and dealing with the possibility that your hubby doesn't feel the love anymore, maybe it's time you took yourself out of the situation. It's not fair to anyone to be in a loveless or unrequited love situation. And life does go on and there will be someone out there that will give their all to be with you.

And if you don't like the way DH parents his daughter, you aren't going to like the way he parents your child if you have one at some point.

All SM's feel like the cook, maid, washer etc. at some point, the hard part is getting your DH and Skids to realize that you are not there for their every beck and call. It is your CHOICE to be there and do things for SD, not your responsibility. If I ever don't want to do something for Skids, I tell DH " N - O, No." and he figures it out. I have flat out told SD's when they are nasty to me for whatever reason, "I'm not your parent, therefore I don't HAVE to do anything for you. I CHOOSE to love you and do things for you." That shuts them up and pulls them back to reality for a while.

Good luck, and maybe consider seeing a counselor if that is feasible. It might help with sorting some of your feelings.

Isn't bellydancing the greatest. I love the workout I get from it and if I don't want or feel like going to class I pop in a DVD. Plus you don't have to be a size 0 to see the benefits.

I have the Neena and Veena DVD and I love it. My doctor says it is better for my back and hip than going to the gym. Plus it doesn't hurt. The biggest plus is that you can't help but feel sexy and beautiful. Have you tried Tai Chi? It's great for stretching your muscles and it's very relaxing.