Allowance doesn't motivate her
SD13 has become even more lazy. She now is refusing to do her chores. She gets an allowance ($20) for emptying and loading the dishwasher every night and wiping down the counters. Not too hard of a job. She says that she doesn't need the money or care about it. I'm about to scream. Any suggestions on how to get her to do her chores? I was thinking that she should have to earn computer time. Any other suggestions?
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She gets nothing
If allowance doesn't motivate her, then maybe being grounded will. For everyday she refuses to do her chore, ground her for say 2 days from something she loves. Whether it may be phone, computer, games, friends over or going over friends. Sooner or later she will be sick of doing nothing and start doing her chores.
i had
the same issues with ss and he is 16 but i figured that when he was living with his mom she did everything for him.I stopped making his lunch in the morning for school and stopped doing his dishes everytime he brought out a dish i would put it back in his room.Then his mom came and moved him out while we were gone out and all his dishes were in his drawers so i ended up doing them anyways.I stopped doing everything for him maybe thats what you should do.They take advantage if you let them.
what does motivate her?
Every kid is different. Between all our kids we've gotten to some pretty creative punishments:
- For the fashionista, no choice of clothing- we pick the clothes they wear for the day.
- For the stubborn know it all who loves to read, taking her books.
- For the need to be center of attention kid, elimination of special 1:1 time with a parent.
Really, with all the Ipods, game devices, hair accessories, there has to be some privilidge that if threatened would get her butt in gear. Grounding is also not effective sometimes because then the lazy buggers just have more excuse to lay around.
Man! I wish that I had
Man! I wish that I had thought of this when my sd lived with us!!!! I think that it just might have gotten her attention if we wouldn't let her choose her clothing! Brilliant plan!!!!
My SD complained
everytime she had to do chores. So I changed it so that she if she wants money then SD can work for it, otherwise no money.
BUT before I would let her borrow money, but I no longer do that. When we are at the store now and she wants something I say "well I guess you should have done some chores to earn that" SD always rolls her eyes. I used to say "sure, I will keep next weeks chore money"--not anymore.
For me it is a lot less stress not having to hound and get upset when things are not done. SD did dishes for money last Sunday, that was the first time in about 3 months (after Christmas).
I will say that if we had SD full time than I would make her do them, but she does do them at BMs so a lesson is still learned.
I am in the same boat
My BD13 is a slob. My BS17 is also a slob. They all used to get an allowence but that stopped because they would ask for the cash and not do the work. Now if they want money they have to ask for chores and do them properly. Some chores are a normal part of life - cleaning your room, putting away your laundry, keeping your bathroom clean. My BS17's room gets so bad I get mad and do some cleaning of my own. I hung his clothes in the closet where they belong instead of in the basket, meant for dirty clothes. I noticed he kept wearing the same pair of jeans. I asked him what happened to the 4 pairs of jeans I bought him and he said I looked in the bag (the one he brought them home in) and they were gone. I asked him if he looked in his closet where clothes are supposed to be and he is still wearing the same pair of jeans. Nasty. He room is so bad, he lost his glasses this morning and I had to crawl around on the floor and find them under his bed. He can't see without them so I had to do it. I have very long hair and its hard to crawl around on the floor holding your hair off the filthy floor.
No work - no money!
That's part of the problem
I would not be putting up ANYTHING in their rooms. Picking up, putting up, sweeping up, looking for. NOPE. I would not have been on the floor looking for his glasses under his bed either. THe boy is 17 freaking years old. HE would have been on the floor feeling around like Stevie Wonder if need be. Even better is that when he got in from school any and alll things would have been off limits until the room was cleaned.
My kids rooms are not allowed to get that far gone. They do get a little messy during the week with putting on outfits and changing their minds and not putting the things back up BUT they usually tidy when they return home and on the weekends they CLEAN. They are 12 and 13. This has been the situation since they were about 9. THEY hang their own clothes, fold and put away their own clothes, iron their own clothes and clean their own rooms to include dusting and sweeping.
At 17 he should know those things. You are not going to always be there to do it for him. What about when he goes off to college? Or gets his first apartment? Chores are about more than chores. They are life lessons.
We used to pay my BD for chores. She would half-assed do them. So, we stopped payng her an allowance BUT she still had to do the chores. She later regretted that one.
Just because one opens her legs twice, does not a mother make! ~ ME ~ }:-P
You have
to find THEE THING that she loves/loves to do to take away. Every person has something. That is the key.
On the more negative scale, everyone has something that they hate to do (paint a fence, go to church, etc.) ---make doing THAT their punishment. That ought to put a fire under her tush.