TO RESPOND OR NOT TO RESPOND TO BM??
So I have told you guys how I try to be nice to BM and that has not been working, tonight I said bye right to her face and she had no response, so I told her to have a good night. On her myspace account it says My MOM taught me if you can't say anything nice don't say anything at all. So do I put some remark on my account for her to see or do I do nothing and not even let her know I saw her account she has no idea if I really check it, so do I put a dig in or be the bigger person and wait until after court on Friday, and pray we win, and that is all the satisfaction I will need?? I really want to type some rude remark back because I think it was a slap in my face she capitalized MOM and my Mom passed away 2 years ago. So do I play the game or ignore her??
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What would your mom do?
Would she say, "be the bigger person I know you are" or "sink to BM's level?" Just something to think about.
She was probably doing the mom thing
to reassure you that she is the mom and you are not, ya know. I hope that's what it was anyways, if it was the other she needs a butt whipping.
I would ignore it to be honest. She doesn't have to respond. It just shows your DH, and yourself why he is with you and not her. You have manners, you are kind, and you will try to jump any hurdle to make people comfortable. That speaks volums of you.
PS...you're much better at this stuff than me, I would have turned around and said, ok then....go fu*k yourself to. You did the right thing.
Ignore her
I know I know even though this woman drives you nuts don't respond to her because then she will know that she has gotten to you and don't give her that power. I agree with Jen you are a much nicer person then me cuz if someone blatantly ignored me like that I would have yelled hey hello did you not her me talking to you - how are you doing???? All smart ass and everything but I do like Jen's go f**k yourself line much better! Let us know what happens after court!
Let Her stew
I have had similar situations, and I actually let her stew in it. She is looking for a response, so I dont give her one. Even thought through gritted teeth I would prefer to spit on her. But Drama is the BM I deal with too. And they never see themselves in their true light.
Dont acknowledge it at all. In person or online. Sounds like she is just baiting you.
I agree it is best to ignore
I agree it is best to ignore her, but sometimes BMs go to far. I haven't said one thing to our BM in 3+ years even though I have been called every name in the book. It wasn't until she threatned my husband to go to jail cuz she wouldn't take payments she wanted all the money for SS braces all at once (court ordered). I lost it.. I grabbed the phone and I thought I grew horns out of my head. I let her have it.. I told her she was so greedy and that if she put him in jail she wouldn't get any money because he would be fired from his job. I asked her if she was really that stupid?.. She didn't say anything just finally hung up.. It feels like a bully in grade school that pushes a kid too far.. you just finally let them have it.
Your BM better be careful because sometimes it is just the little stuff that adds up over the years and finally one day you will just of had enough.
wait until after court
then change your status to "elated" or 'smug' something like that, trust me, that'll get her, but won't reflect badly on you! }:)
"Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results." Albert Einstein
ignore it
I wouldnt confirm to her that you checked out her myspace..she is hoping you will.
Let her think you dont have the interest in knowing anything about her.
Our dumb BM would do the same exact thing,,,Ive learned that it aggrivates her more to not responde then replying back. She thrives on crap like that
Bm always sent me emails like that ..MOM..Im his MOM..all the time, once she sent me an email how she gave birth to him.....crazy stuff. (the women has crazy issues)
so I started reply back on all my emails and text ...From Brad's Stepmom......or if it was from H..
From Brad's Father and Stepmom
she certainly stopped throwing Mom around.
Good luck hope it all goes well...
from
Brad's Stepmom
haha
I agree, don't respond
It's no use, and you'll only let her know she got to you. DH was in court yesterday regarding CS for SD15. Stepdad (BM's husband) walked out in front of DH and laughed at him. It pissed DH off, but I told him to forget it. Unless he cares what stepdad thinks of him (and he doesn't), DH shouldn't care if stepdad laughs. I know it's annoying, but it's not worth getting worked up about. Don't let her take up the space in your head!
Oh boy...
that would have p'd me off too. Luckily my SDs StepF seems like a level headed guy. Thats how you know they are all about the money......
My cousins exGF (his daughter is 10) lives in another state sole custody. When my cousin got shot (yes shot in the face on Christmas Eve) and could not work/pay CS his exGF boyfriend called asked " Where the hell is my beer money"
And to boot, his daughter lives with the Gramma NOT the BM who gets all the CS money! The Gramma refused to get the support since she doesn't want any help with the child from ANYONE. So you think take her to court, right?? But with no money....what do you do.
She's baiting you....
BM does this too. Emails, texts, etc. Nothing overt, very subtle. Unless she asks me a specific question that requires a response, I ignore it. Nothing I say will make it any better. I figure that if I never give anyone a reason to be upset by my actions then they just look like the fool for acting like I'm a terrible person.
On the flip side, when I was first divorced my former in-laws would occasionally pick up the kids and my FFIL would refuse to speak to me, even when I spoke to him. Finally one day I leaned in the car window and very calmly and sweetly told him that I know you are hurt and angry and I understand that. However I will not allow anyone to be disrespectful to me in front of my children. Therefore, if he could not be cordial and pleasant he could no longer come pick the kids up at my house. He was fine after that and we are now (after 6 years) actually quite friendly.
Now, I can't do that to BM of course, but I have debated about telling her that if she couldn't be nice to me when she picks SD up at our house after school then she can start paying for daycare and pick her up there. BM is getting much better though, so hopefully it won't come to that. Now that I think of it, she doesn't speak to me unless she's asking a favor. Hmmm...
Oh honey as much as I would
Oh honey as much as I would love to tell you to post a very smart-ass retort on your page to counter-attack, the "mature" thing to do is to be the bigger person and ignore her. Karma is a bitch and will get her in the end!!
Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist. - George Carlin
like they said
ignore ignore ignore.
you are a BETTER person dont fall down to her level.
"Better a diamond with a flaw than a pebble without one."
I WOULD IGNORE HER
I do have to say though, everyone can always tell when BM is mad at me, she changes her profile pic to one of her and SS. I just laugh... the only reason I know is because she is one of FH's sisters "friends" on there, and so am I so when I go to my FSIL page, THERE she is... whatever. Sometimes I just change my picture to one of SS and people I KNOW she hates like FH's MOM. They HATE each other. That gets to her more than anything. But usually I ignore it. Sounds like BM in your situation has been trading notes with BM in mine.
DISbelief~
~You have to BE crazy to UNDERSTAND crazy!~ ; )