What rubbish!!! If my calculations are correct - you moved in 13 months after DH's separation. That is a more than respectable amount of time. Good for you and DH.

Here are some more facts:
1. SKIDS have to come to terms with their parents new partners. If you leave, they'll just give DH's next partner a hard time until they learn to deal.
2. ALL kids use a separation to manipulate their parents and step parents. Its a natural part of the testing the boundaries thing.
3. Most BM's will have something negative to say about their ex husbands new partner. If you leave, the same thing will happen to DH's next partner. Chances are at some point you will say something negative about BM too
4. 16 years old is old enough to realise Daddy is going to have a new partner. Start dealing with it.

I commend you for being aware of SD's grieving process and for being sensitive to her needs. I'm sorry I've been a bit blunt, but you sound like you are apologising for living whereas I think they should be grateful you are there.

DH has been a thoughtful parent and has introduced his new partner in a careful and caring way. He has a right to have a new partner and a right to have a happy relationship.

Carry on being sensitive to SD's feelings but don't apologise for being her fathers loved one, support person and life partner. As she comes to terms with everything, she will be glad her father is happy.

Again, I'm sorry for being a bit blunt. You, on the other hand, have NOTHING to apologise for

Maybe she just needs reassurance she is not going to be replaced in his heart. Good luck!

they are misguided and naive. your SD needs to have a heart to heart with you AND her dad. and in that heart to heart, the message should be made loud and clear to her that she IS loved and IS wanted, but she DOESN'T get to control her dad's personal life. i'm sure she has alot of issues, and hopefully as a new family, you can all work through them together. but you leaving? well, that doesn't solve anything but break yours and your DH's heart and put a temporary fix on her problem. KarmaQueen said it bang on, if she doesn't accept and learn how to deal with the fact that her parents couldn't make it work and they have moved on, things will only get worse for her. she's lucky she has such a sensitive stepmom. but i wouldn't step out of the way for her sake. your just as important and her 'needs' can't be met by you leaving.....

Just trying to be a Stepmom without getting Stepped On.

I totally agree with the comments above. Do not ruin your happiness that you have w/your b/f. She will have to learn how to deal with it. She is 16 and in another year and a half or two she will be off to college or perhaps moved out on her own and involved in her own life. When I was having a problem with my FH feeling strange about his daugther seeing us together I had him read this from Dr. Phil - who I may not always agree with but he made a GREAT POINT here.
Kids may think it's all about them, but that's not the case.
"I think we've raised kids in this generation to have the idea that everything is all about them," says Dr. Phil. "It's like, 'He's my dad, he is supposed to take care of me. He's not supposed to be going out doing something I don't want him to do, particularly when it's not with my mother.'"
Give yourself permission to pursue your happiness, your own life and your own choices.
"You have to decide," Dr. Phil says, "'I have the right to love this woman. I have the right to pursue my life and, in fact, I have a responsibility to do it.' You have the right to move on without guilt. You haven't betrayed anyone because you fell in love with someone else and have a new relationship."
Stay plugged in.
"Of course you want to create harmony in your daughter's world," assures Dr. Phil. "You're very important in her life right now. And she needs the security of knowing that you are committed, that you are focused, that she is safe in her relationship with you, that you're not so distracted that you forget about her and the challenges that she faces in life. Talk to your daughter about what's important to her. Let her know, 'My dad's still here, he's still plugged in to my life.'"

To Daughter:

Respect your father.
"You don't have the right to tell your dad what to do or not do, yet you are exercising that power and control through your expectancies of him maintaining a relationship with your mother," Dr. Phil tells daughter. Dad is an adult and he doesn't need his daughter's permission to go on with his life.

Support your parent in what's important to him.
"If you support your dad, you will support his relationship with that which he loves and has invested in, and you will seek to create harmony in his world," says Dr. Phil.

I THINK THIS MAKES A LOT OF SENSE AND DON'T LET GO OF A GOOD RELATIONSHIP!!!

}:) Being my husbands third wife does not make me third rate. It just means he is a slow learner }:)

Children grow up and leave there parents and who are the parents left to be with. She may be still hurt but that is nothing that you can do anything about except be understanding and allow her the time with her dad. Since she is not being ugly to you you can probably be pretty sure that it is not you she is upset with rather her own mom and dad. You hang in there...

I am sure of that. Although I would be very careful about the possibility that SD might be manipulating the situation. Steve, is right - two more years. I don't think that a parent should allow a child to tell them what relationship to be in. I know Dr. Phil is in a little hot water right now, but I do agree with him on a lot of things and one of those things is that "Kids join our lives, we don't join theirs." I believe this is true. If you feel like you and your SO belong together, don't let this child mess it up.

Einstein's definition of insanity is "doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results."