at work yesterday, i felt like i was bombarded on all sides by issues of a sensitive nature (for me, anyway). i swear, there was nothing in my own life that was getting to me today, until this one guy that i work with started up on his saga of the problems that he and his ex-wife were having. nothing really to do with the kids, even. they are good friends and work well together where the kids are concerned. he is just distraught b/c he can't figure out why his ex has been standoffish lately, not wanting to talk or hang out. from a distance, you would think that he was dating her, rather than an ex husband. i endure listening to him go on and on, obsessing about his ex regularly (he even follows me around sometimes). an hour or two later, i'm in a different part of the building, doing something else, and overhearing these other two guys that work there talking. one guy was talking about his girlfriend, and the other guy started talking about this other girl that he had wanted to start seeing. apparently, they had been out once together, but he had lost all interest when he found out that she had a daughter. the girl said that she only talked to the babydaddy on the phone, and that was all. so then, he starts to wonder if the bd must be in prison or something, and would be problems when he got out. so, he decides not to see her anymore, and the other guy agreed that was the only thing to do, b/c "you know how it is with the babydaddy. it's always gonna be somethin with the babydaddy"
i finally left to go do something else, and went about my day some more. a girl that i work with had this problem w/ her ex calling about twenty times last night, and she was visibly upset. when we were all cleaning up and getting ready to go home( i work in a restaurant), she started telling me why her ex was so angry at her. the transmission in her car had died, so she bought another car. her x has a car, same make and model, different yr, and he had wanted to get some parts off of it before she got it hauled off. she had told him when they were going to come to get the car, several days before, but he didn't get the stuff in time. he did come over thursday night, and and gave her a list of the car parts that she "owes" him. he said hey to the kids and left. i noticed some large, fresh-looking bruises on her arms that she seemed to be trying to hide (standing in certain positions, crossing her arms) ok, i dont know what else to say about this one, just it upsets me. i told her that i was concerned, and let her know that she could talk to me about anything, which she usually does, but it was different last night.
i went home to my husband, feeling completely shaken about our own situation, withdrawn, i guess. maybe just all of the drama that i heard got to me, but just from hearing all of these different perspectives about the ex, and what everyone goes through for them, puts up with from them, and is willing to do for them, i suddenly feel very small and insignificant. questioning how my husband really feels about his ex wife, and if it really all is "just for the kids " like everybody says. i am ashamed for feeling this way, too, for doubting my guy, when he didn't even do anything to get me started on my dark little hamster wheel of deep, depressing thoughts. just feeling a little doomed right now. he asked me what was wrong, and i told him that i was just tired.
i guess i just wanted to tell somebody about all of this, and maybe someone who reads it might tell me something that i need to hear. sorry so long