Can I do this?
Last August I met the man of my dreams. I literally fell in love with him the minute I laid eyes on him. I'm 24 (soon to be 25) and he's 27. He has a 7 year old daughter who he has had sole custody of since she was 2.
Our first 6 months together were the most wonderful, happiest times of my life. I moved in with him and his daughter in January. The first few months were great, but then I noticed something change. I'm not sure what it was, or why it happened, but suddenly I'm not happy anymore and anything and everything about his daughter bothers me.
Did any of you have trouble knowing that you'd always be number 2 in the eyes of the man that you view as number 1? I may just be a selfish, spoiled only-chile, but I'm really having difficulty adjusting to this reality. I love this man more than anything and want to spend the rest of my life with him. I'm just hoping for some encouraging words to help me over this speed bump.
- Number2Blues's blog
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Number2Bue's (i hope ya feel good enough to change ur name soon)
I think we all can sympathize with how you feel…the only thing that I can say to hopefully change your perspective on the situation is that you are not number 2. His relationship with his daughter is 100% different than his relationship with you. You are his Intimate Number 1 and she is Daddy’s Number 1 Little Girl….like night and day…so try to find security in the fact that she could never replace you or be who you are to him and vice versa…and in saying that, b/c he loves the two of you differently, there is enough room for him to love both of you…Don’t get me wrong…it will be tough…especially if the mom comes in and out of the picture…but if you love him as hard as your post indicates…the Love will make it worthwhile….this site will help a lot so pop back in from time to time…I check on my blog girls every day….its like having a secret club!!!!
Thank you!
I had a feeling this site would be good for me. Thank you for the kind words. I'm feeling better about the situation already. Thanks for taking some time to reassure me. I'm sure I'll be here quite often to vent, share, learn, etc.
I resemble that! In the
I resemble that! In the begginging I didn't realize the full complexity of the situation either. I really have admiration for full time stepmothers. We only have my husbands son every other weekend, and I still get annoyed / jelouse from time to time. This is just a suggestion but try having a date night every week. That way you get his full attention. I agree with nise... you aren't second at all. Maybe you should talk with him and make him aware of these feelings. That way he can work harder to balance his time and attention appropriatly.
Thank you!
Thanks for taking some time to comment on my situation. I think this site might be a great place for me to let me feelings out and get some constructive feedback. That will hopefully make it easier to share my thoughts and feelings with my BF (I'm not very good at getting everything out these days).
We have his daughter full time during the week and every 3rd weekend. When we weren't living together we had every Wednesday to ourselves (she would go with his mom) and only had her every third weekend. My biggest shock has just been coming home every night and expecting to relax after a long day at work. Where do 7 year olds get all their energy?
Thanks again for your kind words. Have a good day!
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