13 SD THREATENING SUICIDE - BELIEVE IT TO BE A CALL FOR ATTENTION

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Yesterday my 13 year old SD wrote a letter at school claiming she was going to commit suicide this coming Friday. She left the letter for her friends to find which resulted in a trip to the counselor's office and a phone call to the parents. The SD claims the following reasons led her suicide:
1.Her Dad is not there for her
2.She does not feel welcome at our house
3. Her mom pressures her to look pretty all of the time for cheerleading
4. The divorce between her parents that took place 7 years ago
5. The still born death of her youngest sibling that took place 8 years ago

When asked for examples, she referred to how she had to share her father's attention with my children. She said that she was no longer number one to anyone. She said that even her own grandmother was pushing for her to have affection for me and my children and she couldn't take it anymore.

I don't understand this behaviour. I love my daughters equally. They have never approached me or each other seeking out a "number one" spot in the family dynamic. I have NO idea how to deal with this. If I call her bluff, she could do something awful to herself just to get attention. I don't think young girls have any idea how permanent suicide is. I also don't think we should all start making her the center of our world.

Suggestions Please!!!!

She needs to be in counseling

She needs to be in counseling and her father needs to participate in the counseling sessions... maybe you as well.

13 is a dreadful age to be as a girl. It could be just hormonal mood swings pushing her to be more melodramatic, but like you said, kids can do something rash and then.. no going back.

Her father needs to reassure her that she still is very important to her and love isn't something that you have a finite amount of. Sure, you might have finite time and you might have to share that with other people, but his love for her is no less than before the other people were in his life.

That does NOT mean making her "number one"... however it might be worth reflecting on things that might be making her feel like she is less than a member of the household while she is there. For example, we had a poster who was using the room the step child stayed in as storage sometimes and that made the kid feel like he didn't even have a space in the new house.

Call CPS and get the kid

Call CPS and get the kid hauled off in the rubber padded van to an institution that can give her some help. Even a hint of a suicide threat is not something that I would delay one second in aggressively confronting with every resource at my disposal.

Aggressive action is a clear demonstration that she and her safety and wellbeing are at the front of everyone's minds.

Act.... NOW!

If this is nothing more than a teen angst driven grab for attention then the entire experience of being completely out of control of her own life while the professionals keep her under constant surveillance, lock, and key until they figure it out should be a great education experience for her to learn not to manipulate.

If it is serious... then she gets help.

A win/win in my opinion.

When PrincASS (over a year

When PrincASS (over a year ago) made a comment to a classmate that he'd rather kill himself than go to English class, a teacher overheard it. The police were called and PrincASS spent 4 days in the psych ward being "evaluated". He was not at all suicidal - it was teenage boy drama.

BUT! Your SD needs to be in therapy NOW. Possibly in the hospital being evaluated. Please do NOT take this lightly!!

Parents need to haul this

Parents need to haul this child to an emergency psychiatric facility now. While it's most likely teen drama, she has expressed an intention to commit suicide and given a date. It should not be ignored.

If BM won't agree to take her, BD needs to either take her on his own (if he has joint legal custody), or call Children's Services and state what happened and that BM won't take her (if BM has the right to determine medical care).

At the very minimum the child needs to be in counseling to address her issues.

Never ignore a suicidal

Never ignore a suicidal statement. It doesn't matter how much you feel it's "just a cry for attention." Maybe it is but if that's what they are doing to get it there's a problem. On top of that some people will make an 'attempt' as a cry for attention that ends up with them dead.

I work in mental health. We see ALOT of people who you feel it's just a cry for attention. It doesn't matter. The one time you don't take it serious could be the one time they do something and end up dead.

I worked with a teenager for almost half a year. She went home and quickly after that asked mom and dad to bring her back. Said she was suicidal and they didn't believe her. Her 'attempt' was to take a whole bunch of pills right before they came home. They found her. Rushed her to the doctor and pumped her stomach. Too late. The combination she took bottomed out her blood pressure and by the time they got her to the hospital too much had been materialized.

None of us believe she meant to kill herself. We feel she wanted to come back and when her statements didn't work she took action.

That doesn't make any of us feel better though and her family has to live with that.

I've been doing this almost 6 years now and she's not the only one I've worked with to find out later did commit suicide.

A cry for attention is still a cry for help.

What are her mom and dad

What are her mom and dad doing about the letter? Do they feel like it is a cry for attention?
In high school I had a friend named Justin. He would always threaten suicide and would call me every night crying begging me to talk him out of it. I told the councilor at my school that I couldn't handle talking him out of killing himself every night. She pulled him out of class and talked to him and called his mom. His mom blew it off as a cry for attention. That night he called me and I did not answer. The next morning while sitting in 1st period I learned that he had hung himself the night before.
Never ignore someone's cry for help.