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pookie1971's picture

Submitted by pookie1971 on Sat, 09/17/2016 - 9:38pm

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I just can't stand my SS. He is four years old and a pain in my a**. He was the product of a one night stand and I wish he had been put up for adoption. I never wanted children, I don't like kids and it annoys me I have to have him in my life. His mother is taking my husband to court yet again about trying to get more money, she blew $11,000 on Catholic preschool for the kid. She thinks we should pay for him to go to private school on top of the regular child payments. Not going to happen. Everytime we pick him up he throws a fit and I just want to tell him to shut the hell up. Nobody cares about what he wants. If I had my way I would just leave him and drive off and never look back. Whiny, bitchey brat. Call me questions monster if you wish, I just don't care.

twoviewpoints's picture

Submitted by twoviewpoints on Sun, 09/18/2016 - 8:21am

Yes, she did. She had been dating for three months when BM announced to OP'S new BF that BM was pregnant with BF's baby.

OP's anger and hate for the mere existence of this child is nothing new.

pookie1971's picture

Submitted by pookie1971 on Sun, 09/18/2016 - 3:06pm

And my husband promised me he wouldn't be a part of his life. Didn't want or need a child in his life.

twoviewpoints's picture

Submitted by twoviewpoints on Sun, 09/18/2016 - 5:22pm

And then he changed his mind, but you went ahead and later married him anyway.

Ban a two year old from your home? Because his parent doesn't parent. I see nothing has changed in two years. You still hate the kid exist. Dad is still involved (albeit, poorly on the actual parenting).

https://www.steptalk.org/node/188625

Hey, fourteen more years and visitation will be over Sad

BethAnne's picture

Submitted by BethAnne on Sat, 09/17/2016 - 10:06pm

Sorry things have been going do badly for you. It is probably time for you to take a step back and stop being so involved in your ss's life. Let your husband do the parenting and take yourself out of the picture as much as you can when your ss is around. Also stop paying attention to BM, let your husband deal with her. It is his responsibility so let him deal with it easpecially if it is causing you do much stress. Look up about disengaging and try applying it to your life to see if it can make a difference for you and save your marriage. Lots of step parents on here engaging in some level or other of disengagement and it can work to relieve stress.

Disneyfan's picture

Submitted by Disneyfan on Sun, 09/18/2016 - 8:53am

Can you blame the 4 year old for having a fit every time he is picked up? Chances are he knows the OP hates him.

Parents who subject their minor children to people who feel this way about them are disgusting. The child is FOUR. What could he have done to justify an adult calling him a "whiny bitchy brat"????

pookie1971's picture

Submitted by pookie1971 on Sun, 09/18/2016 - 3:03pm

I've never done a thing to that kid. I've taken him to fun events, taken him shopping and never shown him anything but kindness. I can control my emotions, he acts like we are killing him everytime we have to pick him up. I'm tired of it.

Disneyfan's picture

Submitted by Disneyfan on Sun, 09/18/2016 - 3:07pm

Kids are not stupid. You don't have to do anything mean to them for them to figure out that they are not liked.

If you're tired of it, why not skip the pick ups? Dad can pick he kid up alone and work on the problems alone.

CANYOUHELP's picture

Submitted by CANYOUHELP on Sun, 09/18/2016 - 5:27pm

You need to disengage with his child who is NOT your responsibility. Dad needs to be picking him up, HE has to work it out. Disengagement works if you decide you want to be happier. But, just know, little ones grow into adults, that are using worse, not better, if you are already experiencing all this difficulty.

Acratopotes's picture

Submitted by Acratopotes on Mon, 09/19/2016 - 2:53am

YOu never wanted children... why get involved with some one who has a child, regardless of how that kid got there,

I suggest you end it with this man and find some one who does not have children nor wants children, or you accept the 4 year old, he's 4 and teachable... he's not 14 yet.

AJanie's picture

Submitted by AJanie on Mon, 09/19/2016 - 8:58am

I "hated" SD when she was a baby. It is hard to even admit that. I resented her existence so very much. DH would ask me to pick her up or hold her once in awhile and I would literally hold her arms extended fully out, no eye contact. It was immature and I thought I was making a "statement" but really I was just highlighting my hurt and insecurity.

Now I absolutely adore that child. Oddly enough, 7 years later and we are attached at the hip... it sounds a bit corny but we have a very genuine bond, which I would never have imagined could be possible. Sure, she annoys the hell out of me at times and she resembles her mother, but I love her. I am sitting at my desk looking at the "I love you" notes she writes me... a child I once would not and could not even stomach looking at. Life has a way of surprising us if we are open minded and choose kindness. Truly.

You have to come to accept that simple fact that the kids did not ask to be here. They really are innocent. Does it suck that our men had unprotected sex and we get to see the result of that walking around - yes it sure does! Sometimes I still want to cry/scream/throw things/throw up..... But we are adults and we chose to be with these men. Accountability.

If you can't stop "hating" a little boy, I suggest you get counseling. If counseling can't help... leave.