How can I prove my SS12 is stealing without video?
Forums:
Number 1. He steals weird things like my favorite cans of soup or my lipstick or pieces of a jigsaw puzzle I've been working on for weeks.
Number 2. Sometimes these things reappear in obvious places after days of searching.
Number 3. He always says he has no idea what happened to my missing stuff and Dad believes him.
Number 4. I can't afford video surveillance, so how do I catch him?? I need Dad to believe me,so he will quit making me deal with SS alone while he's at work 28 hours at a time.
The answer is... you can't.
The answer is... you can't. Or fingerprinting might help but I think that's going a bit overboard considering they're just really small stuff. When you say they re-appear in obvious places, were they where it would have been if it had not disappeared, or are they in obvious but strange places?
I mean, video surveillance these days is super cheap, a wireless camera is anywhere from $25 - $100. If it bothers you that much, get one.
I think your biggest issue is that the dad is leaving your SS with you, why isn't he with his mother or another blood relative?
You don't need evidence or a
You don't need evidence or a reason to make #4 happen. All you need is your voice. Just tell him you are not watching his kid while he is at work. When you say it, mean it and stick to ithe.
Your husband can't make you do anything because you are not a child. Adults are free to decide what they will or will not do.
Well two can play that game.
Well two can play that game. Plant some of your stuff in his underwear drawer or under his pillow. }:) }:) }:) }:) }:) (It's a joke people - for the ones that are getting all puffed up right now).
If you have laptop with
If you have laptop with camera you might be able to catch him on video.
My husband and his mother
My husband and his mother feel Skids should be treated as if they are your own. That means soccer practice, getting ready for school, homework...everything. He helps do everything for my son. He expects the same for his. The difference is his son hates me, breaks all rules when he's not around, and has so much attitude when he doesn't get his way that BM kicked him out a few months ago. If I refuse to keep him while DH works 24 hr. shifts I'm a horrible wife who doesn't treat "our" children the,same. I think I'll borrow a nanny cam!
So, if they expect you to
So, if they expect you to treat the skid the same as your bio, how would you handle your own child doing these things? That would be how you should handle this situation. And if they don't like it, remind them that they were the ones who wanted the kids all treated the same.
He has kept him for days a
He has kept him for days a couple of times I was in the hospital. He's not a perfect kid either, but he always minds his stepdad. (I was a widow so no bio dad, but my mom can help with my son if my DH doesn't)
OK, I'm changing my response
OK, I'm changing my response a bit. I still think you should tell your husband you will not help him with his kid. However, you should be prepared for him to take the same stance in response to your kid.
You (and your ex)should be 100% responsible for you child.
I would give my kid hell for
I would give my kid hell for taking things that doesn't belong to him.
I also wouldn't expect my spouse to be responsible for my kid while I worked.
I would not do everything for someone else's kid.
I like Sally's idea.
I like Sally's idea. Otherwise my idea: Why not try hiding something of yours (or DH's like Sally suggested) in skid's room? And somehow getting your DH to find it. That way the kid will look guilty. I agree that you have to play the game smarter than the skid. No reason to spend money on a camera, unless you think it will be a constant issue.
Novaky---OMG I wish you were
Novaky---OMG I wish you were my daughter.
If you were I would give you the talk and courage to tell DH and his mom stick a nose in her sons business (they are the worse) "OK I married "name" and ss is your son and Grandson. He is NOT my bio child, so I have decided that we ss and I will be friends when he is here and YOU Granny Gulch can watch him when YOUR SON cant. I will drop him OFF at your house and DH can pick him up. IF that doesn't work for you Puff n Stuff Daycare has openings, but I know YOU want to care for him like your own blood right (ass holes)?
Now, if they busted on you I would offer my daughter to pack her bags and move home and divorce him 'I will pay your retainer sweetheart"
Please learn to stick up for yourself. Say NO, it is a complete sentence by the way.
If you believe your things are being stolen call the cops and they will send someone over to make a report, make sure ss is there. That should fix it.
If DH is like 99% of the
If DH is like 99% of the guilty daddy's on here; even if you do catch ss stealing he won't believe you or he'll make up excuses as to why ss had your item. ss31 stole a blue tooth that was charging on my desk and DH blamed the cat. Yes DH, because all cat's need a bluetooth.
Lol! This is SO my DH!
Lol! This is SO my DH!
Update: Thank you, All! I
Update: Thank you, All! I have put my foot down about keeping him all the time. His grandmother will keep him one day a week. DH is asking BM to take him one day a week, but she still refuses so he gets to spend the night with a friend or other grandmother. I decided not to video, as DH will never believe his angel is a teenager in disguise, so I will deal will SS myself. If DH won't believe me, I'll just have to leave him out of it. I won't be bullied in my own home by SS! Thanks!
Do the same thing to him.
Do the same thing to him. Hide his shit and later put it back