Anyone else have SKID 100% of the time??
I have had the summer from Hell. I married my high school sweetheart 3 years ago. I have a disabled son (who is now 9) and he has a son (now 12). I was a widow. We share custody of his son 50/50. Summers are always difficult for me because my son requires more care, when school is out for summer break. This year I had a baby via c-section just before summer break. I've had a very difficult recovery and a colicky newborn. So, I told my husband I need help this summer, but all I got was more work.
My SS has always hated me and tried to come between his Dad and me. (Even though I've never been strict or mean or anything) He makes me uncomfortable (listening in to my conversations, disobeying and pretending he forgot the rules, ignoring me, sneaking into my room, telling me he loves me but everyone else he hates me, etc.) and if I say anything,he hides or destroys my stuff. Recently, He started acting out at his Mom's so he could live with Dad, and she kicked him out. My husband was thrilled and we've had him all summer. He only took him back to her house once. She brought him back after 5 hours...saying she is done fighting with him. She said if he wants to live with us, he can. My husband could not be happier to reward him by giving in to his demand to live with us. I'm in hell. It was bad enough living in my room to avoid him 50% of the time. I don't think I can do this. Advice??
I am kinda in the same
I am kinda in the same situation, the husband and you need to be on the same page. Set boundries on how much or not your willing to do like I.did with my husband. I have 2 step kids and one is disabled. I was trying to be super mom until it became too much. Also we are in counseling because we have these issues, if he can't sit down and talk with you ask if he's willing to talk to a counselor with you to mediate and to hear your needs. I feel my needs are not being met, I feel as though I need help, this is what I need from you. If he isn't willing then it's time to move on..
I feel your pain and wish I
I feel your pain and wish I had some great advice but I don't. This is obviously a kid that wants his father to himself.
I married a man that had SD6 100% of the time, too, and it was very, very difficult. She was a mini wife, didn't want her dad to remarry, and actively tried to destroy us, too. DH, of course, didn't see that; any time she acted up, it was ALWAYS my fault and neither he nor SD took any responsibility for any of her behaviors. By the time it became really bad, I'd already had 2 kids with him and had a job where I worked odd hours so if I had divorced him, chances were my kids would've gone to live with him. So, I tolerated it for my kids. I disengaged as much as I could but when you have a minor in the house, I still had to be responsible enough to make sure she was, at the very least, safe and fed. It was very, very difficult as she could manipulate her father into believing I was this horrible person. I concentrated mostly on caring for my 2 kids which, in turn, still caused problems b/c I wasn't being a mother to her. But, if I tried to parent her, I was "overstepping". Nothing I did was right.
Things finally came to head when she turned 18. My job was more stable, I could support myself and my kids without DH and I gave both DH and SD an ultimatum. It was a nasty horrible fight but for me, well worth it. I got SD out of the house and DH found out that I wasn't a rug to be stepped on anymore. That was 8 years ago and we almost divorced over that. But, I'm not an advocate of divorce and gave it one more shot.
We are still married but it has taken a toll on my health and my feelings for my spouse. I still love him but we are more like roommates now than intimate partners. My kids have their father in the house and that's very important to me. But I have IBS and high blood pressure and I know it's directly related to all the stress I was put through. Things between us are better; SD really isn't much of a factor anymore but I've lost a lot of respect and trust in my husband. There are still times that I wish I had gone through with a divorce.
As I said, no advice but you are not alone. I have lived through the same hell and survived but at a cost. I hope you don't pay the same price I have.