I lurk but rarely post. The last time I posted, my step daughter had hit my husband because he insisted she apply for financial aid. Three years have passed, and my now 21 year old step daughter's conduct has been disappointing but not horrible. Sure, she blew us off on a pre-booked vacation which cost us hundreds of dollars. She has not been there for her brother, our son. However, her antagonism towards me has now blown up, and I don't know what to do.

We were out to dinner the other night. When we came home, we noticed that she had called dozens of times when we were out. She lost her social security card and needed her birth certificate immediately to get a job. My husband called her back and apparently, while leaving a message, left his phone on, so she could then hear the conversation that my husband and I were having. I remember saying something like, it was too late for her to come over; we had to go to bed. I get p at 5; or son gets up even earlier. My husband apparently said she was "manic."

She texted my husband some days later and reported that I had made it seem like she was not very important. When I texted her to ask how she got that impression and to apologize if I said anything untoward (which I can't remember doing), she refused to tell me what she heard. She wrote that she had hated me for her whole life (I've known her since she was 2) and that I was a lying manipulative c@##. She wrote to her father the next day about how good it made her feel to send me these texts.

She states that she never wants to have anything to do with us again, except she wants her father to continue to pay for her car and her phone.

Is this it?