IMHO sending her gifts, cards, money, only encourage her bad behavior. She treats you horribly and then gets a card with money in it. I say STOP IT!

My skids treated us horribly too. all three kids at one time would have nothing to do with us. We now have a relationship with OSD. The yss went over a year without speaking to us. When he came back into our life's, he never apologized for anything. We let him live in a rental we own (rent free). All he had to do was pay the utilities,which were in my name to save him from having to pay a deposit. We gave him a nice car. He moved out of our rental & moved in with a girlfriend. He left the place totally trashed, dog poop & pee all over the carpet, left so much junky furniture that we filled a trailer to haul it all off. He left us with a large utility bill. AND he stole the washer & dryer we provided the rental.

My msd was living with her boyfriend and was pregnant. Her bm gave a baby shower at the bm's. I was invited and did not want to go because they have treated me so crappy over the years. My dh pressured me to go as he did not want his dd to feel slapped, so I went. I made a beautiful Diaper Tricycle which was made up of diapers, receiving blankets, baby cloths, etc. The bm & my msd were kind (superficial kindness). That was the last them we have seen them (over 5 years ago). We were excluded from the birth of her baby, then she got married and we were excluded from that. Now she has another baby and we have not seen it either.

We had been very good to these kids and gave much. you see how we were rewarded. I say if someone is going to hate me, they can do it without gifts.

Please pardon the brute language but: Fuck No.

As far as you and your DH are concerned, (well, YOU anyway) this person no longer exists. Period. Dot.

Sorry for all the crap you've had do endure. But it seems you are finally free!

Wishing you love and happiness in you new home! Congratulations!

Here are all the reasons you should keep sending gifts and money:
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Gosh - Couldn't find a single reason to put on that list.

On this I would take the high road. Keep sending cards if you wish. With out without money. Your call. But .... never cave in to her manipulative extortion of your money. You and DH give gifts on your terms and never on hers.

Make sure to take a pic of every card and money if you include it. Keep a record. So when she claim you have nothing to do with her you can bare her ass nicely. Better yet, don't send cash. Send a personal check so that you have proof that she cashed the check or not. And mail the card delivery confirmation so that you have poof that it was delivered and she can't play the she did not get it game.

We send the Sperm Clan a spreadsheet/invoice twice a year of the more than $10K they owe us for their share of the Skid's medical bills that were not covered by insurance. We may or may not sue them for it eventually but for damned sure we make sure they know that we have them by the short and curlies and that they cannot delude themselves that they are people who are worth a shit. Delivery confirmation confirms that it was delivered to their home. }:)

Be nice .... until it is in your best interests to not be nice and have fun.

IMHO of course.

My SD 30 did the same exact thing! She made it clear to daddy that she wants nothing to do with him while he's married to me. She demanded he leave me if he wants a relationship with her. She told him that he has chosen to support a "stranger " instead of his "own daughter" :sick:
She blames me for EVERYTHING that's wrong in her life. Told her dad she had to work as a stripper when she was in her mid twenties as he didn't provide enough financial support. He was paying for her car, car insurance, paid off tickets, and toll evasions and also gave her $500 a month in cash. This went on for 4 years. Her brand new car cost $25,000 and daddy took princess to pick it out. She got whatever her little heart desired yet it's not enough.
She has launched an attack against us via email even though we haven't heard from her in the past 2 years ( it has been wonderful without her constant drama). She makes one bad decision after the next.
The last Xmas card that was sent with $100 was sent to the ungrateful bitch over 2 years ago. Princess said she was sending it back. We are still waiting to receive it. She ended the last email by saying " why aren't I entitled to what other fathers give their daughters without question?" Crazy bitch! I've never heard of a law where it says you have to support your 30 year old loser daughter who can't make good decisions. Oh and she decided to have a baby and chain smoke cigarettes during her pregnancy. The baby was born with a lot of health problems. She caught an STD during her pregnancy as well. I'm just telling you this do you can see how she doesn't take responsibility for her actions and makes HORRIBLE decisions that she blames on her father and I. Her child has special needs and can't walk or talk. The child makes a strange screeching sound. It's very tragic and sad. Poor baby needs a mother who can put the child's needs before her own.
She doesn't call her father on Father's Day or his birthday. She no longer gets her token $100 for her birthday and Xmas. She gets nothing and she deserves nothing just as your skid deserves nothing. NOTHING!!!!!!!
When we do our will, I am going to suggest that we leave her $1. My DH calculated that he paid over $200,000 in child support for her and she has the audacity to say that he didn't support her financially as a child. Idiot bitch. She will get $1 if I get my way. Then I want it written that if she contests the will that she gets NOTHING!!!!!!!!
If we aren't good enough to talk to then she's not good enough to get our money. She deserves exactly what she gets; you guessed it! NOTHING!!!!!!!!!
If your DH continues on with the birthday and Xmas cards with money then he is rewarding bad behavior. It needs to stop. Just like my SD, yours has made it clear that she wants nothing to do with daddy. Why should he send her anything or acknowledge her? She doesn't deserve it and your DH will look foolish if he continues to reward her. She is emotionally abusing him. Why would you reward someone for abusing you? Would you send your neighbor an Xmas card if he treated you like shit? Maybe that's not a good analogy but I think you get my point.

My suggestion is to only send a card - no money once. Then wait for her to reciprocate. If she doesn't, the next time she demands money say you will not be giving her any money because you don't want her to feel obligated to you when you need help.

Nothing... if you choose not to have a relationship with us, then you get nothing... door is open for reconciliation, but must apologize for the crap she pulled, then we can move on and you can have the benefits of being in a family.

Sounds like some parental alienation going on here, BM is trying to get SD to side with her and feels justified in taking your husband for any dime they can get. Oldest SS does not have contact with us and we give no presents. My husband sends him an email on his bday and for Christmas. My oldest daughter has been much the same way as well, sides with her bio dad who has bad mouthed me terribly to my children to win their love and affection. I have been giving presents but it feels all she wants from us is money, free trips, and gifts. She just recently took me off her friend's page on FB (as well as her husband and children), will not answer her phone or reply to emails. I won't be standing there with my hand out offering presents anymore. She is 34 years old and this crap is still going on? It gets real old!! Save yourself the conflict, if you do anything, send a card but that's it. Presents are intented for those who are in our lives and want to be a part of it.