Hiding Medication
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I'm new and in search of some answers. My SD8 has ADHD, at least that is all she's been diagnosed with but her behavior is AWFUL. My husband lets his guilt get in the way of being a better dad, he wants her to have fun at our house but she comes 50/50, it would be different if she only came every other weekend. I was in her room putting some things away and found about 40 of her ADHD pills in her drawer that he had given her and she spit back out afterwards and hid. She is only 8!!!! Please tell me I wasn't wrong, he didn't act like it was a huge deal but I did. I mean she is 8, where would she come up with that idea????
It is a big deal. Collect
It is a big deal. Collect them and YOU hide them in a ziplock baggie for now. Most ADHD meds are considered "controlled substances" and carefully accounted for by pharmacies etc. Did the pediatrician or a medicating psychiatrist prescribe them ? DH should tell them that the meds are not being taken.
There are other forms of meds. One comes in capsules that you can open and sprinkle in yogurt. Another is a capsule that has a powder which can be mixed into fruit juice. With that in mind, you can always grind up the tablet yourself and mix into oatmeal, etc.
"Having fun" is one thing, but not taking meds that are prescribed for a reason is irresponsible. It's not fair to the child.
It is Strattera that she
It is Strattera that she takes. The psychiatrist prescribed them to her. I begged him to call her Dr and talk to her and he said he would just wait until her next appointment, which is next month. His way of dealing with it was showing her the pills and grounding her from her tablet for a few days. I feel like he has blinders on and just can't see this is a bomb waiting to go off. Her mother has diagnosed mental illness but won't take meds for it.
Not sure where the kid got
Not sure where the kid got the idea from. Is the opposite parent making a stink over SD taking the meds and giving the kid the idea to 'just spit them out when Dad gives them to you'?
Regardless, you were very correct in pointing out to Dad what you found. I certainly hope Dad now watches the kid take the med, swallow the med, and checks her mouth afterward. IMO Dad should also address a discussion with the child as to why he is now doing this and inquire as to why she was not swallowing her meds. He can get into why she wouldn't take them. Are they making her feel 'off'? Does she have questions about what she is taking and why? You get the idea. Dad can figure out how and what to discuss with her, but Dad needs to get to the bottom of why he kid is pretending to take her meds. But he needs to do so in a non-confrontational manner, he needs to find out why and then discuss the why with kid.
He confronted her and showed
He confronted her and showed her the pills and she looked him right in his eyes and said they weren't hers. She's 8! Then he threatened to take her tablet away and she turned on the tears and said they were hers and she just didn't want to take them. He asked her why and she said IDK and he left it at that. I have tried to explain to him that I think this is serious but he tends to downplay my worries in regards to her and acts like every time his kid does something it's huge. But I think this is a big deal!
Something else your DH might
Something else your DH might want to take into consideration is,
If he can't get an 8 year old to take prescribed medication while she is with him a case could be made that he is a neglectful parent and some of his time and rights could be taken away. Especially if her ADHD is causing problems at her BM's house and school.
Also, withdrawls from those pills can be brutal on little kids, which she could be having.
I noticed it and mentioned it
I noticed it and mentioned it to him every time she came for the last few months that something was off. But you have to understand he always makes it seem like it's me not her. I even reached out to BM and asked had she noticed anything because I was worried. Of course she said she was perfect nothing wrong and to mind my F-ng business. I feel like throwing my hands up and letting them deal with it but even though she is a hand full I love this little girl and I want her to feel good and be happy etc... I just don't think he is taking me or the situation seriously.
An 8 year old will most
An 8 year old will most definitely hide pills. So will a six year old. All with no prompting from anyone.
How do I know? Because I was THAT kid.
I have always had a terrible gag reflex. I cannot swallow pills. I didn't care that I had severe asthma. (this was before rescue inhalers and breathing treatments) I just could not get the pill down my throat. To this day I have a 'ritual' that goes along with taking medicine. As soon as my parents would give me the pill I would hide it in my cheek and then put it in my pocket.
Maybe the problem is not that she is being coerced into not taking her medicine, maybe she cannot comfortably swallow it. Sit her down at medicine time and teach her how to swallow it. My parents used jelly or pudding to put it in. Or I would eat a mouthful of something like crackers and I would swallow the pill when I swallowed the crackers.
I wasn't being devious. I just KNEW that if I took the pill I would throw up and I found that thought terrifying.
I was THAT kid too! I'm glad
I was THAT kid too! I'm glad someone said it! I was a really good kid too, but I was picky and didn't want to chew pills (before they let me take the kind you swallow).
Your DH punished SD, what else was he supposed to do, other than be more diligent with pills from now on?
I just think that he should
I just think that he should have talked to her more in depth about it and maybe he would have found out if it's a swallowing problem which I doubt because I've never once seen her gag when she's taken medicine, but I'm not saying that's what it is, if mommy has told her to do this, if the medicine makes her feel funny, etc... I just don't think this is a normal action of an 8 year old but that's why I'm here to ask other people. SD is one of those kids who has to be micromanaged all the time even when she is taking her medicine and he just says well I was like that as a kid and I turned out ok. But he was in a stable 2 parent home, not being bounced back and forth between dad and BM 7 on 7 off.
Oh so he just punished
Oh so he just punished without asking if there was a reason? I still wouldn't dwell on it, but I would see if there was a problem, or at least watch her long enough to tell if she's having issues swallowing or something like that. BM is probably crazy, but she isn't necessarily telling her not to take them, it is a normal kid thing. If SD is that difficult, it could be something as simple as a control thing.
If she is spitting her meds
If she is spitting her meds out then play the adults are smarter game. Put her dose in a piece of candy or something.
Your DH is not helping with this kids issues by ignoring the problem and postponing the medical intervention.
IMHO of course.
No one tells dogs it would be
No one tells dogs it would be fun to spit out pills and hide them somewhere yet they certainly do it. Even when you hide the thing in cheese or peanut butter. You can still find the pill a day later in the back bedroom when you administered it in the kitchen.
Dad thinking it's ok not to tell doc right away is the bigger problem. Dad is floating down De Nile. He needs to face reality NOW before this kid is a 16 year old delinquent/dropout doing lots of more creative things with her un-ingested, hoarded meds. Tell him the child NEEDS him to step up.