One week until school starts
SD8 starts school in one week. So, unless something major changes since last year, it will be back to daily temper tantrums about doing her homework, weekly notes home from school, etc.
Maybe I shouldn't be so negative, but I'm trying to prepare myself for this again.
And of course, nothing that I was told was going to be done has been done yet this summer. DW agreed to get SD8 tested for ADHD, but wanted to wait until the summer. Ok, fine, I agreed. One week left of summer and has SD8 had an appointment? Nope. Is one scheduled? Nope. I took SD to the dentist, but DW tells me several times this summer that she needs to make SD's yearly checkup appointment. Has it been made? Nope. That is when she would have talked about the ADHD with a doctor. So, now we're heading into the school year with this issue still unresolved, and I 125% guarantee the same issues will come up again this year. I'm done. I have tried to assist in getting to the bottom of these issues with SD8 but DW keeps dragging her feet. Whatever, she can live with the consequences.
SD8 also had a summer project to work on for school. This was given out in early June. It was to read two books and create a story arc of one of them - they provided all of the materials for it except the books. DW went and bought the books for SD8. Did SD8 read them? Nope. Has SD8 even started on the project? Nope. Are we going to be able to do it with her? Nope - because she is with her grandmother this week and her father the next. Is there a chance that BioDad will do the project with her? None, unless DW harps on him daily to do so. My bet is that he doesn't even know about it... despite it being all over the school's website, sent in 20 different emails, etc.
I'm done reminding. If it doesn't get done, Sd8, DW and BioDad can suffer the consequences.
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Yeah, I hope I am. I just
Yeah, I hope I am.
I just feel for her because I know there is some issue there, be it ADHD or anxiety or something. She needs counseling but I can't be the one to take her the first time... DW has to discuss this with BioDad and do it.
It just not happening.
She's good in a lot of
She's good in a lot of aspects (of course I don't really get into it on this site, which I use for venting).
However, I'm tired of being the person who notices and points out all of these things, and not seeing any follow-up. I really think it is because DW and BioDad are blinding to the fact that SD8 has serious issues that need to be addressed. In their minds, she's a princess and has no problems at all.
There's always the argument that you can't see your children's flaws. Maybe that is the case, maybe you just don't want to acknowledge them. I don't know. I guess as my BS3 gets older I'll have to see.
Rhinodad, you are living my
Rhinodad, you are living my life.
The only way I got DW to get my SS tested was to take on the role of my favorite Shakesperean character (Iago) and put a bug in certain people's ears. I played the role of the concerned step-father and spoke to the teachers, the doctors, and the in-laws....ANYONE whom I knew DW would listen to.
It worked.
I am telling you Rhinodad, when you remind your DW about these things, your DW is only hearing the sounds the adults make in those Charlie Brown cartoons
Wha-whu-whawha-whu-whaaa
I don't know the extent of your DW's or Machine Man's education, but that played a factor too in my case. My DW is a HS dropout so she doesn't know/remember what it takes to study and be self-motivated. If SD's parents don't instill good study habits in her now, it's only going to get worse.
Except that you will also
Except that you will also live with it and so will her brother, your son. I am living with a teenage stepdaughter who must have been an awful lot like your sd at 8. As a teenager, it is pure hell.
Your wife needs a wakeup call. Go to back to school night and say to the teacher in front of god and everybody, "Do you do ADHD testing here through the school? My wife and I have been concerned about this for awhile. Should we speak to the school counselor?"
If your wife disrupts you, SHE will be the one making the scene. No matter what, the teacher will now be on notice and may write up a note or something that starts the ball rolling or at least documents the concern.
Do whatever you can to nip this in the bud now. I wish I had been around when my SD was that little. I would not now be bracing myself for big girl problems like a possible dropout.