I dont post much but I guess Im just venting. I am so angry!

Been married for 18 years and SD is 21. I have 2 teenage daughters. BM Has Borderline Personality
Disorder and accomplished her goal of completely turning everyone in our lives against us.DHs
entire huge family except one sibling that refuses to get involved and even DHs life long friends.
It has been a very hard, stressful road. We are broke because we have to still pay child support for
SD for 4 more months and we are drowning financially. My mother lives with us and is very sick and
I am taking care of her. So a lot of stress.

SD liked to keep just enough contact with us to make sure she got Christmas and Bday presents and
went on the maybe 3 vacations we have been able to afford over the last 18 years plus anything else fun that came up-pumpkin picking , fairs whatever.SD enjoyed being with us and we just took the high road and figured SD would see who was doing all the fighting and bad mouthing and who wasnt.Didnt happen that way at all.

BM has tried to infiltrate DHs family for all those years but wasnt able to because she is a horrible person. Slept around numerous times on DH while married and DHs family and DH have doubts on SD's paternity and always have but their advice to him way back when was "its just a baby. Shes innocent. Doesnt matter". So well never know. BM has been married and divorced to one of the people she cheated on DH with that was a good friend of his and has been engaged twice more since. Always has a man take care of her,

Every happy occasion in my life that I look back on is clouded by BM and SD. Birth of my children BM did everything she could to ruin it. DH couldnt take SD for visitation because I had given birth and he wanted to stay with me and BM called all DHs family to say that he wouldnt take SD and she knew he would favor the baby over SD and she told them they shouldnt have kids because of this. Even though BM was pregannt at the time.Birthdays, my wedding, Christenings always had some kind of crap where she would cause trouble and Im actually crying on 1 video from the stress of her games.

DHs family always stayed away from her except a few gossipers that wanted info. She never was able to get back in. They all hated her in DHs entire marriage and BM fought with all of them all the time.We moved a couple of hours away and SD started saying crap about us. We saw her more when we moved away because we used to only see her 1 night every other weekend by her choice and now we saw her for a month in the summer-which she loved-because we made it fun and bought her stuff and did stuff and we came back to visit every couple of months. I think BM didnt like it because she wasnt able to badmouth us as much because SD would say how much fun she had and how good we were to her.

I still to this day dont know how everything got so screwed up but started with SD's graduation. We gave her some money-admittingly not a lot and an engraved frame. It was honestly all we could afford.Same with her sweet 16. We gave $200 but her mom bought her something for $1000 and SD started with saying we would give better to our BDs than to her.She has badmouthed us to everyone and has infiltrated even friends we have where we live now that shes only met once. Anyway she hasnt spoken to us in 2 years and DHs family hasnt either except a couple of them but it is forced and nothing like it was.
DH has confronted all of them and nobody can give a real reason including SD becasue there isnt one!

Anyway if youre still reading this-Im sorry its so long-just trying to make you understand we have literally nobody left. My BDs went from a huge family with tons of cousins and aunts and grandparents to being alone all holidays and not even a card or phone call on birthdays. It has trickled down to my kids and they are old enough to understand. SD was a brat to them when she was here anyway always competing for MY attention. Not DHs! It used to make me so mad!

Now my problem- after 2 years- she texted my older child who has a chronic illness that comes and goes. DH mentioned to his mother that she has not been well. My SD found out and texted my daughter to say no matter what has happened I still love you and hope youre ok and all kinds of manipulative crap. This is how BM and SD work it though. They come off as humanitarians and people love them. They run fundraisers, active in church, run prayer groups, will bake things and deliver presonally to anyone sick they know, go visit people in the hospital they barely know- but only to people that have known DH over the years or family of DH. When my DH had surgery-pretty major- SD forgot about it and didnt even call! When BD was giving herself shots and was bleeding I asked SD to get a tissue and she wouldnt move to get it! My DH had to! They are only do-gooders to people they can manipulate and get something out of.

She just texted my other BD to wish her a happy birthday and said I will always love you no matter what. I am pissed! My BDs want nothing to do with her but I have to stop myself from texting her to leave my children alone! She is trying to manipulate them and would love to have a relationship with them while still hating me and DH just to stick it to us. And she would start nice like she always does and then each time say little jabs about us just enough to cause doubt which is what she has done with everyone we know.

Anyway I am trying to deal with the anger and just move on. But I cant. I am so angry still after all these years. Honestly my kids are my life and when I look at DH I cant get past all the misery he brought me into and I was a young girl in my 20s who didnt know any better when this all began.Me and my 2 children are very very close because we have had nobody but each other these years. I hate to say it but they see my DH as a big part of the problem. He was the original Disney Dad with SD and babied her terribly and my oldest remembers how different he treayed SD as opposed to her. My DD always got yelled at and SD would smirk and I would tell her to stop but SD was "corrected" and talked to in a private room with DH so her itty bitty feelings didnt get hurt.I am still very resentful of my DH and it has affected my marriage was which honestly was super tight up until 2 years ago.

How do any of you deal with all this pent up frustration and "let it go". I feel my marriage is a mess. DH says hes over it all but hes not. I have a half a man for a husband since it all happened. He denies it but I see it.DOnt know how to handle it anymore. I know I need to ignore SDs games and I always have but how do I keep turning the other cheek? She has never been held accountable or even confronted about all of this. Just silence. But its eating me up inside and Im bitter.

I doubt anyone will read this far but it felt good to get it out. Thanks