Need advice BAD
So I have a huge complicated problem that I need advice for SO BADLY.
My step-son is 15.
My husbands and I got custody, 'unofficially' last september
He, step-son, went to school down here and lives here.
We are 60 miles away from his mom.
We convinced him to move down here because he was failing school, doing drugs and running the streets.
Now the school year is over, he is planning to move down to his moms.
His mom bought him a truck, got him a job, is putting him in driving school, all to convince him to move back, and he took the bait, but he hasnt told us hes moving down his moms yet.
We feel like we cant stop him.
When he was living down there, she did not parent him, he lived over his friends house and smoked weed , and drank and smoked cigarettes.
He has cystic fibrosis (but is very healthy and doesn't require a lot of treatment)
We cant prove any of this.
My husband paid support for his son, and we just got the support dropped because he was still paying even though we have custody.
His mom hasnt paid anything, but has spent money on his son every other weekend when he comes down.
My step-son almost went to truancy court because his mom would pick him up from school on thursday every other weekend because she didnt want to sit in fridays traffic, we picked him up on sundays.
Lawyers are a lot of money, and now hes old enough to decide where he wants to live anyway.
Bribery will always win when
Bribery will always win when it comes to teenagers ~ who can blame them.
Is it just for the summer , or does BM believe you have fixed what she broke ??
I dont know if it is just for
I dont know if it is just for the summer. We found out because she was talking to us and leaked into the conversatio "I enrolled him into driving school, which is once a week" and "Oh yeah, I got him a job up here" She wanted us to take the bait and feed into it.
We tried to get him to talk about it and he said "Im not the one finding me a job, I dont know whats going on"
He wont be straight with us, but we can see right through everything thats going on.
His father is sitting down with him this weekend to get some answers.
Our stepson also has been acting out the last quarter of school, not caring about making an effort in school and he got suspended today for fighting with someone.
I think its because now she is finally being the mom he wants and hes torn between his parents.
But we know it wont last and if he goes back down there he will be running the streets again.
In todays litigious world I
In todays litigious world I would not sign for a teenager to get a license. Sorry but people didn't sue your parents out of their house and future paychecks when I was 15.
If the kid visits Mom and doesn't come back Daddy could tell Mom there will be no child support paid or expected while he's living with her. She wants to bribe someone let the pain fall on her and her alone.
It is very unlikely that your
It is very unlikely that your SS will get to chose who he wants to live with. No need for a lawyer. File for formal custody immediately and have your ducks in a row to make it happen. Most states reserve that decision for the Judge. Some states allow the kid to express their wishes on which parent they want to live with but not many states actually allow the kid to choose.
As close as he is to going to BMs for the summer a timely drug test once he has been there for a few weeks may be a good nail in BMs custody coffin. If he tests positive for marijuana or other drugs and for cigarettes then you probably will have BM by the short and curlies.
This kid has cystic fibrosis and smoking is an even earlier death sentence than the much shorter life he will normally have with this disease. BM's tolerance or outright facilitation of his smoking is well worth bringing up in court.
As for SS's DL, I agree with OCC and beaccountable. I did not get my license until I was 18, my wife didn't either and our kid (my SS) also got his at 18. To avoid liability now that SS is out on his own we are titling the car we provide him in his name and he will go on his own insurance. It is currently in my name since we purchased it as a surprise Christmas/HS Graduation/USAF enlistment gift for him. Our attorney about smacked us both in the head when he realized our adult iid was driving a car that is in my name and insured by my bride and I. Ooops! :O
In your situation that fact that SS will live with BM, she will be the one to sign for his license approval, she will provide his car, etc.... you may be somewhat insulated from potential liabilities if he kills or injures someone.
So the situation BLEW UP
So the situation BLEW UP today.
Yesterday I found over 20 pictures on SS instagram. All of them are him smoking weed, with bottles of liquor in his hands, cigarettes.
One post has him saying his BM Bought him the cigarettes.
I took screen shots of all of them , all of which have comments of his friends at his BM house and photos of them.
I sent them ALL to his BD last night on facebook.
You wouldn't believe what happened next. This morning SS said he hacked into his dads facebook and saw everything and flipped out.
Everything before that too, my personal conversations about him and his BM and probably naked pics of me too.
I am f.ing disgusted.
His BF and I dont really care about this "Dirt" this kid has on us now because we know that we have proof now.
One sentence I said, that SS brought up was "Tell him now that if doesn't stay with you, he wont ever get to see his BM again"
Because of the drug and alcohol use up there.