Social Media Threats
I'm a step-mom that is worried about some of the behaviors being taught to my step-son by his mother. Lately he has been having issues with hitting, pushing, and tripping at school. These behaviors are not taught or allowed in our home, but we don't know what happens at Mom's.
A few months ago I heard mom telling step-son to trip a kid that was bothering him at soccer practice. Today I saw a post on social media about her punching a little girl at step-son's school for being rude to him.
These statements and posts make me feel uncomfortable considering the mom has an unreported abuse history. I'm not sure if I can do anything about this, but I feel I should let the teacher know so she has some idea as to why step-son is repeating this at school.
Any suggestions would help! Sad Sad
I am the primary caregiver of
I am the primary caregiver of my step-son because BD works odd hours. We split the time 50/50 and we do not see behavior issues when he is with us. We only know about the issues because the teacher let us know what was going on.
It's none of your business.
It's none of your business. Yes, it sucks he is growing into a bully fashioned by his very own mother but nothing you say is going to change the way another person feels about how they should raise their child. I would keep pictures of these posts thought. I believe once their was a poster here that a skid who once stabbed another student in the arm with a pencil and the step was talking about getting the boy help but couldn't until the incident (I believe thats how that story read, other may correct me though). That in mind, all of these posts about hurting people could be enough for a judge to send the kid to a councilor for therapy even if the BM doesn't want to cooperate. You might even want to get your husband to bring the kid to your local "boot camp" or "reform school" and let the principal there tell him exactly where he is going to end up if he can't learn self-discipline and proper conflict-resolution skills.
I always try to talk to him
I always try to talk to him about solving issues with our words and if someone is doing something we don't like we can tell an adult instead of using our hands. I have never seen him hit, push, or trip another child while he is with us 50% of the time and the issues at school always happen on her days. The teacher is great at communicating with us when there is a problem and also telling us when he corrected himself. I'm not so worried about step-son's behavior as I am worried about BM's abusive history and something happening.
We always keep notes of things step-son tells us or things we see on social media.
SS is 6 years old and we have
SS is 6 years old and we have been together for 3 years.BM does not have to give us permission for me to be the primary care giver. What matters is he has someone to care for him with BD is at work because he cannot be left alone. When SS is with us on our time she does not have a say in who is caring for him.
lol - THIS!!
lol - THIS!!
I think the more important
I think the more important part of it is the abusive history and making sure SS is safe in his environment. If BM doesn't want people to know this part of her she shouldn't post it on social media. I cannot control what comes up on social media, but when it's something that could potentially endanger someone I care for I'm going to save it. I guess I assumed when getting on a website for parents to help each other through tough situations that not everyone else would understand people would be more positive instead of posting things like that. I hope when you are in a situation where you need advice or help that nobody posts something like that to you.
I think the more important
I think the more important part of it is the abusive history and making sure SS is safe in his environment. If BM doesn't want people to know this part of her she shouldn't post it on social media. I cannot control what comes up on social media, but when it's something that could potentially endanger someone I care for I'm going to save it. I guess I assumed when getting on a website for parents to help each other through tough situations that not everyone else would understand people would be more positive instead of posting things like that. I hope when you are in a situation where you need advice or help that nobody posts something like that to you.
I think the more important
I think the more important part of it is the abusive history and making sure SS is safe in his environment. If BM doesn't want people to know this part of her she shouldn't post it on social media. I cannot control what comes up on social media, but when it's something that could potentially endanger someone I care for I'm going to save it. I guess I assumed when getting on a website for parents to help each other through tough situations that not everyone else would understand people would be more positive instead of posting things like that. I hope when you are in a situation where you need advice or help that nobody posts something like that to you.
If you're so concerned about
If you're so concerned about SS's well being, call CPS. :?
Tell the teacher. As a
Tell the teacher. As a required reporter the teacher may be able to get this addressed officially which could help bare BM's ass appropriately.
Good luck.
I'm a teacher. I'm a
I'm a teacher. I'm a mandated reporter. That does not mean I will allow a SM/BM to use me as a pawn to get BM/SM in trouble with CPS.
Mandated reporters are required to call if they SUSPECT child abuse. That does not include he said, she said gossip. If the OP is concerned about the child's well being, then there's nothing stopping her from picking up the phone and making the call herself.
Forward the BM's admission of
Forward the BM's admission of punching a child to CPS and let her explain herself to the law.
If SS is not careful a kid is going to put a cleat in SS's face for bullying and when it happens it will be justified.
There is a fine line with addressing bullying behavior and being a bully. A bully needs their ass kicked.... the victim needs to do the ass kicking while not becoming a bully themselves.