Step-son’s Girlfriend moved out!
:jawdrop:
my biokid, my hubby and I were away for a couple days and hubby got a text from Step-son, that the g/f decided to move back in with her mom… surprise!
Now She wants money… she wants a lot of money!
She has learned from her mother how to reproduce and then use the child as an income source for money from biological father… (g/f’s mom has 4 different baby-daddy’s… four separate “paychecks” from child support)
I told him, “you don’t give her a dime, if the baby needs something, just get whatever the baby needs”
Here is HER proposal for custody: Step-son gets baby Monday night, Tuesday night, Wednesday night, she picks him up after school on each of those nights and takes him “home” to her mother’s two bedroom apartment (the other bedroom is occupied by her younger brother, she’s on the couch and the baby’s portacrib is in the middle of the tv room)
Then she gets Thursday and drops him off Thursday night to stay with Step-son Thursday through Sunday and she picks him up Sunday night or Monday morning
She’s 21 years old and looking to get her party on… have the baby responsibility when SHE wants it and then turn baby over for the weekend… AND she thinks he’s going to roll over and just hand over half his paycheck (not kidding, she asked for nearly half of what he makes and said that’s what child support will award her)
If he doesn’t listen to me, he probably will wind up paying half his check… and then he’ll REALLY never leave the house!!
He shouldn't give her
He shouldn't give her ANYTHING, until court ordered to do so. Once an order is in place, he should make sure to always pay her by check and not with cash.
make sure he enters into no
make sure he enters into no agreement until he is court ordered to. Also girlfriend doesn't sound like a fit mother and the living situation is awful. would his family, dad, wonderful caring SM, or anyone else be willing to help him look after the baby? Would he go for more custody?
Is he sure the child is his?
Is he sure the child is his? If so then he does have to be responsible for child support. However, I agree with ThatGirl - a court should decide how much.
No, he didn’t use a condom
No, he didn’t use a condom and no we weren’t thrilled with the whole situation when we found out about it. so, yeah, he put himself in this situation, but do you think that gives her the right to USE the baby as an income source??? Like her mother has with her and her brothers and sisters? We live what we learn (most of us) and my step-son screwed up in getting her pregnant, but is now doing what he can to be a good father.
Ommy, I am going to try to have a sit down with him tonight and tell him that he should probably just go for legal custody of the baby, with her having ‘visitation’ … as much as I know that will probably mean that the likelihood of his moving out any time soon is out the door, at least I will know that the baby is safe, in his ‘own room’ in a crib and being cared for properly.
The ‘arrangement’ that she wants puts the baby in his care for about half the time anyway… if he gets custody he doesn’t have to pay her via the court.
I’m not advocating him being a deadbeat dad, I’m only ensuring that she’s not fleecing him and taking away her ability to use the baby as a tool to milk him for whatever she can get her hands on.
I agree with you in the fact
I agree with you in the fact he is not to give a dime to her.
He should keep ever receipt. Diapers, milk, wipes, clothes everything. He can by things for the baby directly and he can keep track of it that way. If his BM claims she now has to pay "rent" he can counter with the fact she did have a place safe and rent free.
Would it be possible to have
Would it be possible to have him write up the plan that she wants and have her sign it? That would show that she is willing to let him have 50/50 time. Push for at least that amount of time. If they have been living together for awhile then there is no need for your SS to get any less then 50/50. Some of these moms try to get SV or graduated plans. Anything to get more money because of less time spent with dad.
Document, document, document.
Document, document, document. Her mom's house is trashy, probably won't matter. Her social rung, won't matter. Her partying, will. Does she do drugs? Or drink when the babies around. And then you have to ask yourself does your SS leave himself open for judgment. Make sure he knows that he better be clean as a whistle. Also, there are advocacy programs for young parents that really help to avoid legal fees.
kayro, the baby is here, he
kayro, the baby is here, he just turned 1 last month. You couldn't get a baby that looked more like his father, so I don't think that there's any chance that it's NOT his... we did what we thought we could at the time, she was sneaking in and out of the house while we were asleep or at work.
we have rules in our house, that my step-daughter had to abide by when she was home, that my older bio daughter had to abide by when she lived home, that my younger daughter has to live by, still at home... they chose to ignore the rules and now we are dealing with the 'fallout' from their actions. decision was made, for the sake of the grandchild, we weren't going to turn them out on the street.
so this new 'arrangement' is beginning to sound like she has a 'revolving door' to our home, which my husband and I need to sit step-son down and talk to him about. he wants to "work on their relationship" which to him, means that she can come 'home' and stay when she wants.. um, no. Sorry... that does not work for me or my husband (at least I have support on this point)
she's already starting to pull stunts, like the typical "biomom" horror stories that I read about here with what other people here have to deal with... dropped the kid off Saturday, came back Sunday which my SS was supposed to have more time w/ baby and she basically told him "tough darts" and took the baby to her Brothers' Dad's house for "Sunday dinner with the family"
??? WTF???
I decided, that unless it has to do with his financial arrangements (which will directly affect husband and I) that I'm staying out of it... he can cry to us all he wants about what's going on, but I have a teeenage daughter who I'm raising, I'm done raising one of my own biokids, husband is done raising his other biokid... this one is 26 years old and we SHOULD be done raising him... he's like a friggin man-child!