Background...dh and I have 7 adult children. His sons are 21, 30 and 31. My daughters are 22,26,28,and 29. All will be home for Christmas except probably my DD26 who lives here in town as we have no relationship at the current time. (More on that later).

Dh and I both came to blows over the weekend. He is unemployed right now, so is already stressed enough and he doesn't like my children who he finds disrespectful to me and as he calls them, "spoiled divas". HIS sons are all drug users - oldest actually is mentally ill and on government disability. SS30 is on VA disability for PTSD and FINALLy, after 6 long years, seems to be turning his life around and is sober/clean. SS21 finished rehab in the Fall and is living at a halfway house looking for a job (like WHAT kind of job will he get with only a high school diploma. Really??) Anyway, you can see why I'm not looking forward to having my skids around. My DDs know how dh feels about them as they have overheard. My DDs HAVE hurt me since I met dh because they don't like him and HE doesn't like THEM because they've favored their father and his family over me and dh. So, we BOTH don't like each other's kids due to the pain they've inflicted on us. We came to blows this weekend and I told dh "At least YOU only have to put up with MY DDs on Christmas Eve, I have to put up with yours all week! I am SO glad I work Monday and Friday and will be gone all day Thursday! (DD28 is getting married next year and we're all going bridesmaid dress shopping since all my DDs will be home.) I am dreading having HIS 30 year old son at our house all week as THAT means his 5 year old son will be there as well. What REALLY grinds me is my dh has to play chauffer to ALL of his sons as, due to their addictions and bad behavior, NONE of them have a license or car. It truly sickens me. Dh just hates the way MY DDs have treated me, especially DD26 of who is TRULY wicked to me because of HIM. She sounds like a child..."YOU chose dh over your own children and I will NEVER forgive that." Whatever. She can stay away this year like she did last year. Fine by me. See people...it's not only skids who can be wicked to you. Bkids can be cruel as well. Last year, DD26 spent no time with me Christmas Eve or Christmas Day then fully expected her Christmas gift. When she asked for it, I said, "Oh...do you mean, when do you want to EXCHANGE Christmas gifts? (This was on New Year's Day.) She said, "What do you mean...EXCHANGE?" I said, "Well, I know you said you got a bonus at work, so you were buying Christmas presents with it. So, who did you buy for? She said, "My friends, grandma..." and I said, "Did you get your father something?" She said, "Yea...I got him a little something." and I said, "But, you didn't get me anything." and she said, no. Wow. I ended things between us right then and there and she called me f-uped in the head and bi-polar. We have corresponded by text throughout the course of the year, but not seen each other. She does not EVEN understand what kind of message that said to me. Like I said...wicked. And this is my OWN daughter! So, I've disengaged. I've been to counseling for the problems with my own children along with the skids. She said things won't get better with my daughter until she matures. I could be in for a long wait. The other day when we texted, she was all like, Wow. You haven't communicated with me all year, but when the holidays roll around, you contact me?" Seriously?? I had contacted her numerous times throughout the course of the year and even told her we could meet somewhere and talk...just to let me know, then not hear from her. I know I have caused her pain throughout my early relationship with dh and how I moved forward. (Long story.) But, I have taken ownership for that and apologized to her numerous times. But, SHE takes NO ownership and can't understand how what she does hurts ME. So, WHAT if she doesn't like dh. My other DDs aren't fond of him either nor he them, but they still come to my house. They know their love for me should override their dislike of him. This one daughter just can't seem to get past her anger towards me.

Dh and I both said we wish we could take our own kids and go somewhere else as they are totally unblendable (his kids - drug users, mine - college grads with good jobs). UGH But, neither of us have anywhere to go, so we just have to hope the week goes by quickly. I will definitely though enjoy my time with my OWN children and just try to disappear when HIS are around.

Is anyone else dreading Christmas like we are?