Don't even know what to think..

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So myDH just informed me that we will have SS again next weekend...I feel like he should have talked things over with me before he went and decided this because I had things I wanted to do. I told him that I hurts me that I am always put on the back burner and ignored when SS is here and was told that my feelings do not matter because a child is involved. Wtf?? And was told I knew what I was getting myself into..umm no I did not because if I did I would have never got married. I feel like SS comes first them BM then me. I can not get him to understand why I feel this way. Anytime she needs anything he jumps and it is really starting to get to me. I just wish I knew how to talk to him about this without me always feeling like the bad guy.

Unfortunately you are married

Unfortunately you are married to a selfish ass who does not care about your feelings. Don't waste your time trying to talk to him about it because it's pretty obvious he just doesn't care.

Go make your own fun when he dumps you for BM or SS. Make friends - go out, find out what you like to do and go do it. Maybe you might even meet a nice guy along the way. I wouldn't blame you for finding someone new with a DH that treats you so bad.

I figure when you marry a

I figure when you marry a parent, you should ALWAYS assume the child will/can be present.

I wouldn't mind if he talked

I wouldn't mind if he talked it over with ME beforehand.

yeah," suck it up you are the

yeah," suck it up you are the adult"...I have heard it all and disagree.I think he should have asked you plus I also think he should treat you no differently when his child is there.Why do some men think they have the right to do those things to their wife/gf's??I don't understand why they put their kids on a pedestial above everything and everybody including their partners- it does make no sense and is not good for the spoiled kids either.All you can do is stand your ground and tell him you want to be important, too.

I really wish I understood

I really wish I understood why men do half of the things they do. Haha. I talk and talk until I'm blue in the face and it does no good. I'm the bad guy and hate his son. Umm no...I just hate the way you act when he is here. But he never understands.

^^THIS^^ Agree!!!

"You probably could not have

"You probably could not have really known what you were getting yourself into by marrying a parent. Maybe DH did not even really know, as things change sometimes rather dramatically."

THANK YOU. This point seems to be lost on some people.

VERY WELL SAID AnaR!!!! I

VERY WELL SAID AnaR!!!! I AGREE 110%

I truly believe that if these

I truly believe that if these "poor CoD" kids were treated like kids from an intact family, there would be less entitled little bratty snots running around.

If you were an intact family, it would not be anything to get a sitter and the parents go out to do their thing.

Unfortunately, your DH is tell you AND the child that the world revolves around said child.

"Some parents seem to want

"Some parents seem to want the companionship and financial and sexual benefits of being in a relationship with another adult, but they are unprepared to take responsibility for that relationship. Unacceptable."

YES!!!

Very well said and good

Very well said and good points.

However, eventhough a man/woman married a person with children does not, IMHO, mean that they have to be a parent right along side of their partner or take on the parenting role as their partner is/does. That child(ren) have a parent(s) and we, SP, are not one of them, if we choose to be great if not then that is OK too.
We all have a past, and some of our pasts bring children into new relationships but that shouldn't mean that those of us who marry/date into a situation as such should ever have to sacrafice our lives, plans, etc. to take care of someone elses child. Just like I wouldn't/don't expect that of my BF in regards to my BS I expect the same of my BF in regards to his. Anything, and everything a SP does for their partners child(ren) should be a CHOICE. Not expected or demanded or required. Yes, we married that man/woman BUT we married that person for THE PERSON NOT FOR THEIR CHILDREN or to raise them etc.

That is just my personal feelings on the subject.

AGREE WITH THIS SO MUCH!!!

Oh dear, I feel that I'm

Oh dear, I feel that I'm reading myself!!! Of course IT HURTS, and why on earth do you have tu put up with the "you knew what you were getting into" crap?? He also should have known what HE was marrying into!! That's what I always say when I get the "you knew crap" I knew he had a DD alright but I didn't know he had a crazy, selfish, insanely mean and whinsical BM!!! And he KNEW I was a divorced, trouble-free girl! And of course he should talk things first with you, after all it's YOU he lives with, right? You can't imagine how much I relate to this story!!

And if he doesn't like the

And if he doesn't like the fact that you make non skid related plans for the weekend say, " You knew I didn't have kids when you married me."

BWAHAHAHA! I LOVE it

That is CLASSIC!

that is an awesome comeback!

Love this. Wish I thought of

Love this. Wish I thought of it years ago.

Here's what I'm not clear on

Here's what I'm not clear on Did Dad KNOW stepMom had other plans for the w/e? Or did BOTH of them make plans w/o the other knowing?

^^THIS IS A GREAT PLAN^^

EXCELLENT IDEA & PLAN ECHO!!!

I believe EVERY SM/SD NEEDS TO & SHOULD implement this plan...and often!!!

Don't stop living and doing things that will make YOU HAPPY just because he would rather play Disney Dad and revolve his existence around his kid(s)!!!

I would do this every time

I would do this every time skid comes here if I didn't have pets/livestock to tend to. There is no way I would leave my pets in my home unsupervised with skid. He is not to be trusted at all with animals. Plus, DH would not take care of the outside animals at all. I have jokingly, but also honestly said I stay married for the kids, and in my case I mean the cat and dog. So messed up.

My DH has become so

My DH has become so accustomed to our EOW of peace and tranquility when SD isn't there that most of the time he WON'T let BM dump the kid on us when it's not our time.
I think that if your schedule calls for EOW than you should stick to that. Of course, there will always be an exception, but if it becomes a pattern, I'd take issue with that.
I specifically make plans with DH on the weekends when SD isn't with us so he really isn't able to change things up on me very often.
I remember one time when BM TOLD my husband that "From now on you're gonna have take your daughter every weekend because I'm working and I can't keep an eye on her." My husbands reply was "Oh really? Ok, let's go to court and you can give me full custody and then you don't have to worry about her at all, how's that?" She never said that to him again.

LOL - Go DH!!!! My BF is

LOL - Go DH!!!!

My BF is like that too. He thoroughly enjoys OUR time together EOWE and unless the kid was on his deathbed, there is no way that he would infringe upon our time to take skid if it isn't his weekend to have him. THANK GOD!!! Cuz he would face hell fire from me if he ever ditched me or our plans for some stupid reason that involved skid/BM. Unless he's dying FUCK OFF!!! IMHO. }:)

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Don't even know what to think..