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And the CONSTANT denial continues!

Kmommyof388's picture

Submitted by Kmommyof388 on Fri, 05/25/2018 - 7:51pm

An other fight about the same crap we always fight about every other weekend...I just don' want MY kids to act the way he does especially about food! And right away on the defensive and unending denial *oh you always only ever say the bad things he does like how he was raised is so horrible* no correction dear husband is said i.will not have separate standards for the children you will eat what I serve and not complain about it. Iam not going to cook 3 separate meals for different ppl just because one person is picky it' not fair to me...and most importantly it' not fair to to my bios (His kids too) to have different standards sometimes I really want to wrap my hands around dh's throat (so angry I could pop )

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twoviewpoints's picture

Submitted by twoviewpoints on Fri, 05/25/2018 - 8:09pm

So what did you fix for dinner this evening that skid thought was so terrible?

There are tons of blogs and forums on this very subject. 

Have you thought about letting Dad cook on skid weekends and having the meal be one that all the kids and both adults will eat? Or would that only make things worse by the meals being unhealthy junk crap? 

Kmommyof388's picture

Submitted by Kmommyof388 on Fri, 05/25/2018 - 8:22pm

If dad cooked it would be frozen pizza every day no veggies unless French fries count as a veggie...and of course a big glass of soda pop to wash it all down.

I made a simple roasted chicken (which the kid normally loves) with veggies pasta as a side dish and apple juice  (small cup so we don' pee the bed) 

Pretty sure that all his mom feeds this poor kid is junk 

twoviewpoints's picture

Submitted by twoviewpoints on Fri, 05/25/2018 - 9:03pm

Chicken has always been one of my total of five kids , favorites. 

So it wasn't the actual food you fixed, just not what the kid wanted for dinner tonight? 

No, I wouldn't let that happen either. Eat it kid or go without. 

I suppose if you had made a homemade pizza with chicken and veggies and low fat cheese kid wouldn't have wanted pizza either?  We do do pizza at my house, not frozen. I make the crust and everyone puts on the toppings they want. My last kid home is on a chicken and tomato with spinich pizza kick.  She sided it with a fruit salad of mandarin oranges, apples and grapes over a mix of spring greens last time. 

So what did yor DH think you should have fed his oldest son? 

dysfunctionally_blended's picture

Submitted by dysfunctionally... on Fri, 05/25/2018 - 8:29pm

Double standards never work! All kids need to have the same rules. But in order for that to work you and your DH need to be on the same page. 

My suggestion is to sit down and have a conversation of what each of you expect. And work from there. 

If he refuses or if you have been there done that then disengage. Let your DH parent SS. Step away and let him deal with the ungrateful child. 

SteppedOut's picture

Submitted by SteppedOut on Fri, 05/25/2018 - 8:39pm

Disengaging might be easy when all the kids are teens. But if OP has young kids, having one child eat/drink anything they want and have little to no rules or expections will cause problems with her kids. Just my 2cents. 

Kmommyof388's picture

Submitted by Kmommyof388 on Fri, 05/25/2018 - 9:48pm

He is very picky about what he will eat...but it' worse if he hasn' been here in a while...eveyone else in his life will let him just eat tortilla chips all day long. But with me he will eat my homemade pizzas and his pasta and veggies(I make it so he doesn' really know there is veggies in it ) but that' just half the battle his dad will just let him do and eat what he wants...he needs meats and veggies damn it! Lol why am I the "bad guy" for trying to make sure he has proper meals 

Kmommyof388's picture

Submitted by Kmommyof388 on Fri, 05/25/2018 - 10:16pm

Disney dad is the worst sometimes...he's so hard on the two year olds but he does nothing when it's his six year old being bad...smh I need wine and a nap!

Kmommyof388's picture

Submitted by Kmommyof388 on Fri, 05/25/2018 - 10:23pm

I don't  always get to eat what I want but I don' attack anyone else for it...idk give my left arm for kielbasa pierogi and sourkrought..but alas daddy doesn' like "ethnic" food 

Cooooookies's picture

Submitted by Cooooookies on Sat, 05/26/2018 - 2:39am

If special snowflake wants a separate dinner, let your DH deal with it.  The problem (which I still struggle with) is you simply cannot care more than their parents.  You cannot want better for them or do more for them.  It only causes massive arguements.  I really think the arguements stem from the fact that bio parent is horrified as you're illustrating what a lazy, non-involved parent they really are.

I stopped doing things because DH would SAY he wanted me to help him parent.  What he really wanted was a partner who would pity, coddle and befriend SS same as he's done.  So while I was actually parenting, DH was firing shots at my back screaming "No don't make my precious snowflake actuall do anything...I didn't mean it!"  And I told him this.  Exactly like that.  I said if you parent SS, I'll back you up.  If you do nothing...I'll back you up too!  Simple.

Problem is you have more than one child in the house.  Sit down with your kids and explain why you're doing what you're doing and how it will benefit them in the long run.  Also explain how it is going harm skids now and in the long run.  Your kids might be frustrated but when they turn out to be good people...it will all be worth.  And your DH will hate that too.

The joys of falling in love with a man who is a great husband but horrible father.