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Frustration continues!

stepmomwithhope's picture

As I sit here this morning, I am remembering the pain was DH was experiencing last night. The tears were welled up in his eyes about his oldest daughter. He told me how he was trying to convince himself that it was no big deal, so he had not told me. On Monday, he had talked to his BD13. He asked how her weekend was and she said "great, I went golfing with Uncle Mike!" Well, it doesn't seem like this may be upsetting. But, the circumstances are that she has been bitterly mad at my DH since the divorce 2 years ago (separation 3 years ago), and she does nothing but take every jab she can to hurt him. The BM moved the girls to Georgia almost immediately after the divorce because her brothers and sister live there. Of course, my DH has to agree to this in mediation, a decision he regrets terribly. This only allowed his BD13 to pretend he did not even exist and continues to blame him for the divorce and even moving. Of course, in her comments "Georgia is the best place, they were meant to be there". He was set to visit them at the end of the month, but after the weekend that I described in my first blog, he decided not to go. He told the BM the other day, and then told both his daughters last night. Of course, there was no dissappointment in their reactions.

Both the girls are set to visit this summer for 5 weeks. My SD13 just turns our home upside down with us walking on eggshells and dealing with her negative "I don't want to be here" attitude. I told him last night maybe he needed to pray on whether to have her come or not. My SD8 would have to make the tirp herself, and although she would fight it, she has a personality that adapts much better to her surroundings and would thrive without the negativity of her sister.

It was a sad night.

Comments

alwaysanxious's picture

I hate to see SO so upset when the skids treat him badly. It makes me not excited to be around them.

hismineandours's picture

Well at least he knows they treat him badly. And can therefore address it somehow. My dh doesnt even seem to notice when ss treats him badly. SS literally has to be in dh's face screaming at him repeatedly before dh will seem to "notice"-all other behavior ignored.

I think it is sad when it gets to this point in which the kids are not even really wanted there do to their behavior-no judgment here as we are in the same spot-On one hand not having them there gives them what they think they want but gives you guys no opportunities to try and make some sort of impact. However, (speaking from experience) their negativity, attitude, and very presence brings everyone around them down and they should not be allowed to do that either.

alwaysanxious's picture

oh, no mine is frustrating because he gets upset when he is treated badly then its all rainbows and sunshine when they are visiting.

Itiswhatitis's picture

Awww sorry his kids are putting him through that. It definately must be hard for him to deal with. Support him and love him, thats all you can do.
Maybe SD 13 wont even want to come this summer. 5 weeks is a long time to be walking on egg shells and dealing with shitty attitudes. Heck I can barely manage to get through a weekend of it.