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This site is my only outlet,,and DH just now discovered it!

sundowner's picture

Submitted by sundowner on Tue, 01/08/2013 - 9:12pm

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He may troll looking for my posts, but I am not ashamed. I vent here because this is our site and this is what we use it for. I cant ever talk about these feelings with anyone cus when I do..I am NOT understood.I have support here and i am very thankful to the folks here for helping me thru so much strife from being in a step situation.

oldone's picture

Submitted by oldone on Tue, 01/08/2013 - 9:35pm

If he truly doesn't get it he is either a total moron or an egotistical self centered jackass.

How would he feel if you ripped his sexual prowess and humiliated him about his "inabilities" (whether true or not) in front of his friends, kids and family?

Last-Wife's picture

Submitted by Last-Wife on Tue, 01/08/2013 - 9:34pm

I don't know your story- I don't ST as much as I used to, but I can tell you that ST saved my marriage. I truly believe that. It gave me a place to get advice and vent. My DH wasn't too happy about it at first. But I told him I never used any identifying pieces and used nicknames. I let him read a few basic posts and then he was okay with it. For awhile, he'd just say "go vent your stepmama drama on that site and leave me out of it!" LOL

I swear it helped get me through tough times...

Want my life back's picture

Submitted by Want my life back on Tue, 01/08/2013 - 9:39pm

What is it they don't get, women find it very hard to bond to another child let alone children who have emotional baggage because mummy and daddy don't live together. Sometimes men don't deserve the love of a woman who self sacrifices her happiness because of DH is forever carrying guilt around. I know my heart is not divided outside the family home but DH heart is.

StickAFork's picture

Submitted by StickAFork on Tue, 01/08/2013 - 10:29pm

I don't understand why women are so "possessive" over this site.

Really, you should be able to communicate with the person you share your life with/have sex with... no?

Hello, husband, if you're reading this. I think your wife has something she wants to share with you, and she'd really like it if you'd listen quietly and make her feel "heard." Wink

oncechoosetosmile's picture

Submitted by oncechoosetosmile on Wed, 01/09/2013 - 12:51am

You are here so much and you still don't understand why some of the posters don't want their partners to know what they write here???Possibly because their husbands are not as understanding as yours and because this is the only place to vent.Just try to walk in their shoes only once and you WILL understand!! Not everybody is in exact your situation....I am pretty lucky with my SO and can talk about a lot these days but would I feel comfortable about sharing everything with him that I share with the ladies here?NO!

emotionaly beat up's picture

Submitted by emotionaly beat up on Wed, 01/09/2013 - 12:17am

Yes StickAFork, it would be nice and we should be able to communicate with our husbands. However, communication is a two way street, both need to listen, both need to hear and both need a turn to speak.

How many us on this site have husbands that do not want to hear anything about their daughters in particular, how many of us have husbands that should we push it, fly off the handle and not only protect their off spring but attack us in the process, blame us in the process and humilate us further.

Bit hard to communicate with a spouse who honestly believes his children have every right to be disrespectful to you, because that's what his kids want.

CandyLou's picture

Submitted by CandyLou on Wed, 01/09/2013 - 12:50am

How did you find out, did he tell you and what did he say? If he is on here snooping at your posts, ask him to pop in and share his story and we would be glad to tell him directly what we think of his kids! lol

amber3902's picture

Submitted by amber3902 on Wed, 01/09/2013 - 11:12am

Maybe it's a good thing your DH sees the site. I don't know your back story, but sometimes people have to hear things from other people to realize how unreasonable/stupid they are being.

Starla's picture

Submitted by Starla on Wed, 01/09/2013 - 12:52pm

My DH wants me on this site. If he had a problem with it, I would discontinue it and give him the nagging, asking advice, expressing all emotions, venting, and his favorite of all- repeating my frustrations. It wouldn't take him long to realize that this site is his best friend and can provide him his dream woman!!!

I would give him choice on venting here or to him and let him know that you get your butt chewed here from time to time too. I have been snapped at here more then once and its done me good at times.

sundowner's picture

Submitted by sundowner on Thu, 01/10/2013 - 11:50pm

Hi All..thank you for the support and comments..to answer the question of how DH found this site, well I was typing away and he came over to "kiss" me.which he hardly ever does...I know that usually means he wants to see my monitor. He said that if I was hiding something from him, that it was a trigger from his ex from the past as she was secretly contacting other men,,trashy BM! anyway, I was totally upfront and also said that I vent on this site and he would be hurt or angry at some of my posts, he said he wouldn't troll because it was "my thing".But I WANT him to so maybe he can understand all the crap I put up with..oh well.

Starla's picture

Submitted by Starla on Fri, 01/11/2013 - 6:06am

Here is what I did when I first started coming here, I read my husband posts from others that we related to. Keeping the spotlight off him allowed him to listen without feeling attacked. He needed time to warm up to this site and he now seeks help here himself from time to time.

Be patient with him, I'm sure he will come around once he realizes that you have his best interest in mind.