Ok, I have read a few more forums here and am realizing that im not really facing reality here. My hopes of one day all of my husbands children and i gettn along is more than likely far from possible. i have read forums worse than mine and i have people telling me to leave my husband while their are woman whos own children are being sexually abused by their sk's. Those woman are being told to just make sure those step children don't come back into thier home.
Anyways, what my question is to anybody married who's kids come every other weekend or however visitations are set up, if when ur spouse tells you that ur children are no longer allowed in your -meaning you and your spouse- home how did you react to this? I have seriously been considering telling my husband this and i want to know honestly,how this impacts on you when you are told that ur children are no longer allowed at the home in which you reside in and are to visit them elsewhere. i know that everyone may react differently and that's why I am asking for inputs here. i want to know a round about estimate of what kind of reaction i may get if this is something i decide upon. this will be my one last resort i try. If that's something that won't work then moving on in seperate directions is the only choice I will have to make.
I know in my heart what is right and my childrens safety comes first and foremost above anything and everything. I do not want my children growing up like my sk's and I am willing to sacrifice the love of my life for this. However, i do feel that before I give up all hope I do need to try everything I can to make something work. I guess try to find some kind of median where we can all live peacefully. I mean, as much as i hate to admit it when my husband and i are without his children things are so great. It's the moment they show up that everything falls apart. the fighting and silence all begins. He stays away from me cause if he don't his kids will start picking and hitting mine because they know how to get to me and my kids are the main thing. I will sit in my room and fold laundry or find something to do and i hate living this way.
My husband and I are one of those couples who love to be in each others presence. we dont have to b all over eachother or what not but atleast in the same room is good enough for us. This tension with the kids though is tearing us apart and in my opinion letting some kids destroy something like this is just wrong. U see in my opinion and in some certain family members, my sk'd dont have REAL issues. They just know what they can do to get away with everything.....that's my husbands and the bm's fault. The way they act and the things they do just lead me to believe this. the actions that follow after they do something or things that happen after they get mad at me, as if they just want to get under my skin. These guys are smart and they think as all children do about parents, that i know nothing about what they are doing.
Well, i got way off track here. Main questions here, what was your response to being told no more kids here on the weekends or we are done and if this is something you are doing, how's it working out for you? Do you resent your spouse-honestly- for this or are you greatful that even though you can't all live in harmony you still have your spouse and your kids in your life? I want to know if this is something that may work out for the best or if i just need to face reality and cut my loses and start house hunting here. NEED INPUT PLEASE!!!!!!!