IS IT WRONG TO LEAVE WHEN SKIDS COME?
Okay last topic i promise.
My BF will start getting his overnight stays with his two kids ages 4 & 7 next week. I moved in with him when his crazy BM took out some CRAZY charges on him basically because she got word that he bought me a car. Long story short i moved in with him bc he was having such a hard time with this situation back in Dec and hes getting the kids back next week. Ive never stayed overnight with them here, and I really dont want to.
I want to leave on the nights that he has them and stay with my best girl friend. I just dont think the kids should see us living to gether notbeing married, and i dont really want to be here when they are here overnight..they wake up too early. Problem is, he gets offeneded and is like WHY dotn you want to be around my kids blah blah blah I want you here with me ect.. Am i wrong for goign to stay with my girlfriend on the nights he has them or is that letting them control my life. Im jsut not used to being around kids like that.
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No he gets them every other
No he gets them every other weekend ...His mother usually takes them on saturday nights because they LOVE going to her house, so he really just has them friday and all day saturday.
No he doesnt ever ask me to
No he doesnt ever ask me to watch them or anything like that, he just wants me around for general compay honestly. He says hes used to sleeping beside me every night, which i am too, and i can see why he would feel like i was pulling away when his kids are around but thats not the case. They arent my obligation, they are his, and i just dont want to stay the night here when they are here. It weirds me out for some reason. I can see his reasoning and why his feelings might get hurt though.
If you haven't met them, I
If you haven't met them, I would at least stay for an hour or two before you go to your girl friend's. It's for you to judge how much time you want to spend with them, but in this day and age I don't think it matters that you aren't married.
I have had EOW for 9 years with my SKIDS, and I wish I had somewhere else to go when they come round!
I agree w/ leaving, not good
I agree w/ leaving, not good for anyone if you're there, your guy might be tempted to push off the care of the kids onto you (it's a man thing)and the kids deserve some time w/ Dad after all the upheaval.
Oh yes we have been dating
Oh yes we have been dating since last summer, Ive been around the kids a million times, but didnt "move in" till he got his visitation taken away bc of crazy BM.
I was nervous to spend the
I was nervous to spend the night with my BF when the kids were there at first too, but it'll only stay awkward if you keep leaving. You live there, it's your home. You shouldn't feel like you have to leave. In my situation, it allowed me to feel more comfortable around them. My BF his kids and I have Friday night movie nights. It's fun and it creates something that the 4 of us can do together and form a bond. Plus my BF likes being able to spend time with all of us together vs having it segregated. Also, ask yourself if this guy is someone you want to spend long term with. It won't hurt to get to know his kids now on an overnight/ at home level.
I can see both sides here. I
I can see both sides here. I am getting married next month to a man with a 4 year old daughter who we have every other week. We have lived together for over a year now and honestly I still hate the weeks she is there. When she is not there, I come straight home from work to make dinner & spend time with my fiancé, but when she is there I go to the gym every night, I go to happy hours with work friends, I do pretty much anything I can to not be at the house. It does suck because I feel like its my home & I should be able to be comfortable there but that’s just not the case. I feel so anxious and want to get away. If you want to be with your bf long term, I would say you should spend some time with the kid just to see if its something you really want to be involved in because it is HARD, especially if you are young & don’t have any baggage of your own (I am 26 with no kids). But I see nothing wrong with spending time away with your friend either