its all he talks abouttttttttttt
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OKAY, so my BF is in the middle of a nasty custody, and i swear im getting so freaking annoyed everytime his phone rights and its someone about this custody case. Today we were working in the yard and he had to stop 4 times to talk to the lady handeling this. I KNOW THIS SHOULDNT ANNOY ME BUT IT DOES! Then later the daycare called with some questions concering being subpoenied? Then at dinner the lady calls again, and again while he was just sitting by me watching tv! I know i should be supportive but i feel like its consuming our lives. I can tell he can sense me starting to pull away, maybe i cant handel it. I knwo he has to take the calls and she should, but is it normal to be getting so freaking aggrivated? helppppp
Honestly... its his kids
Honestly... its his kids lives he's fighting for; and his role in them. I'd be surprised if he didnt answer the phone. He SHOULD be answering all of their questions as timely as possible, otherwise the process will take even longer.
I know, and thats why i feel
I know, and thats why i feel so shitty for even complaining, but i just feel like damn cant we just go out to dinner with this NOT being the topic...ITs beeing going on since Decemeber. Every single day its something else. It just gets overwhelming. Im only 26 never been married no children so its hard for me to relate. I think its more just knowing his ex wife is controlling our lives and her drama is constantly affecting mine.
Oh honey. Better get used to
Oh honey. Better get used to it. We filed our original motion in December 2010. Didn't have our FIRST court date, until August 2011. Prepare for it to go on for a LONG time.
dont worry i COMPLETELY know
dont worry i COMPLETELY know where you're coming from. I went through the exact thing with my DH during his divorce and custody battle. It completely felt like she was controlling our lives and all that, just know that there IS an end and it WILL come. I remember bawling because i was so stressed over not knowing what was going on and not being able to control anything. It feels like a weight hanging over your head and you dont know when its going to drop or go away. Just relax and be there for him because he needs you now more than ever. I know, from experience, that that is easier said than done but focus on what you can do for him because what he needs is a supportive and loving GF who he knows is there for him. Try and do your best to make it so that he doesnt have to worry about you too. If you're stressing and cant take it anymore that day, schedule a day with a friend and go do whatever you need to do to destress and feel good again. Don't complain to him because hes going to feel like he needs to fix you too when he doesnt. What you're going through is completely normal and honestly to be expected and there is NOTHING except time, answers, and for it to be done that will make it go away. You just need to learn to cope until it does.
keep in mind that i have not
keep in mind that i have not always felt like this...its just been consuming here lately it seems. And im totally supportive of him here, but it is hard being on the other side of this.
Thats what im dreading. Right
Thats what im dreading. Right now he is only allowed to see them on Sundays 1-7 because of some stupid BM drama, Tuesday he starts getting them back Every other weekend. Yay.
Bwahaha this ^^^ Oh my, once
Bwahaha this ^^^
Oh my, once the court dates are settled THEN you don't have a judge to protect you from the BM. She doesnt have someone to watch her every move. Honestly the court stuff will be the center of your lives until it is done and over with. Which may be a long long lonnnnng ass time. FDH has custody of our skids and it has been over 3 years since the very first court filing is done. Guess what. The divorce is done and final but he still has a court date in 4 days. Why, you ask? Child support owed, permission to move out of the state, back child support etc etc. It NEVER ever EVER EVER EVERRRRR ends. If you can't handle phone calls from nice people who are trying to help you just wait until your boyfriend's ex wife is running through your lawn screaming obscenities through your windows. It can't happen to you you say? Just wait.... It happens to all of us. Show me a step family with a kind sweet cooperative BM and I will show you 100,000 with some crazy lady instead.
I would probably get annoyed
I would probably get annoyed too. MY gf is going through a divorce. The divorce is a battle and so is custody of their 6yo daughter. There have not been many phone calls though. Mostly emails. They (my gf and her lawyer) want everything in writing. So there was a considerable amount of time my gf spent of the computer. A few times I even said “come on, get off that thing and spend some time with me”… she said “the sooner I read and respond to this the sooner this is all over. I realized I was being selfish. A good kind of selfish. I just wanted to spent time with her uninterrupted. But it went on for a few months because her ex was being a pain in the butt. So I knew it was not “fun” for her to be spending all her “free time” working on the case.
So to wrap this up, I think it’s normal for you to get aggravated. I got that way too. But you got to think about what he is going through. It will take a lot of “his” time too. And I’m sure he would much rather be sitting on the couch with you than talking to a lawyer about the custody battle for his kids… Tell him you’re being selfish because you are missing time with him (that what I get from this and that is my opinion). But you have to understand he HAS to do what he is doing. Soon it will be over and you will have each other back again.
Your his safe place. I'm sure he is not too happy during this time. Be there for him.
I know I know, i realize im
I know I know, i realize im being selfish and i feel awful about it. I guess i will just see how it plays out