You are here

Fighting PAS

peanut11's picture

Submitted by peanut11 on Tue, 01/10/2012 - 8:34am

Forums: 
General Discussion

We have a BM thats doing her very best to push her son away from us. This includes telling him we dont love him as much as his brother (our son), convincing him that her ex (not DH) is his father too, the list goes on and on. He is only 6 years old and we have him 50% of the time. DH does not want to be a disney dad he wants to be a real parent. So my question is how do you fight PAS?

Auteur's picture

Submitted by Auteur on Tue, 01/10/2012 - 8:57am

PAS is v-e-r-y s-l-o-w-l-y starting to be recognized as a prosecutable offense in some areas.

Document like crazy. Time and dates of any questionable phrases that SD may use (anything he parrots from the PASinator BM)

In a perfect world, PAS would be fully prosecutable as the child abuse it is and the perp would lose all custody, be on supervised visitations, be spaded so that it can't happen again.

(SIGH!) Usually a biodad can expect to throw a lot of money into the court systems with little results. I would definitely have DH stand up to the BM and call her out on it (although she'll deny it) The more she THINKS she is getting away with and the more she THINKS DH is clueless about PAS, the more she will keep on her scorched earth campaign. Have DH suggest to BM that she get psychiatric counseling at once. :evil:

RaeRae's picture

Submitted by RaeRae on Tue, 01/10/2012 - 9:05am

Someone posted something about this on another site just the other day. They suggested the book Divorce Poison. The techniques they suggest is to redirect with a positive memory. It may be difficult, but be persistent.

Also suggested was to demonstrate rather than talk. Help the child, rather than telling the child how to do something. The Poster on the other site mentioned her SO's child had a hard time self-soothing (possible bad habit, older child, thumb sucking?) to get to sleep. Rather than telling the child to close her eyes and go to sleep, he took time to talk to her, suggest swaddling, and tucked her in to keep pressure on her arms and make her comfortable, and she fell asleep quickly.

Hope this helps. And, many thanks to the original person who made these suggestions!

liks's picture

Submitted by liks on Tue, 01/10/2012 - 10:01am

Yeah we got it here...Bm bad mouths every one that has something to do with the bio dad....ESPECIALLY ME AND MY KIDS...she is a fn lunatic. Suggests the skids cant come here as Im such a bad mother/influence...and so too the bio dad???

Ive got to the point I dont give a shit anymore.....them three idiots can go stick the fn screw thats loose in their heads fair up their arse and they can walk backwards for the rest of their lives as far as Im concerned...

I said to my DH the other....'your ex slag and your two fat rude obnoxious ball dropping ]ss17 and ss14] have for a very long time consistently gone out of their way to make me hate them...so you can let them know they have succeeded brilliantly' (no clipping around the ears from their father occured during this rude behaviour I might add)

No idea how to stop it...I just got so sick n tired with trying to be nice all the time, and being bagged out all the time....then they took us all to court...that was the straw that broke the camels back....

One thing is clear....my daughter who lives with us is an honour student, received student of the month most times, has a great job, she is in her senior year, producing straigh A, does volunteer work, is always getting praised off all her teachers, parents, mil, sil, every one....and the skids who live with their lunatic mother are off the dial..they are horrible children that no one wants to be around.....so theres some of your proof ....And Im sure your bio son will be able to grow up level headed with you and your husbands parenting too, and eventually prove he is better than the child who is pas out by the bm bitch.