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A suggestion for when SK's don't wanna come over

peanut11's picture

Submitted by peanut11 on Sun, 01/29/2012 - 4:07pm

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So our BM is constantly trying to get SK to not wanna come over to our house at the set time. So we started family movie night for the night he comes over. We eat on the floor something he loves and we watch a movie. He loves it! Everytime BM convinces SS6 to call to ask to stay over we say oh but your gonna miss family movie night. He instantly remembers the ties he has to this family and he can't wait to come over (it totally backfires on BM). I suggest this for families that have the same difficulties. What are others solutions?

Anywho78's picture

Submitted by Anywho78 on Sun, 01/29/2012 - 5:37pm

I'm glad that this is working for you...fingers crossed that it continues to work, or better yet, BM quits being a bi*ch.

Honestly, my SD's (14 & 16) only bother with SO when they want something. He's given in less & less, therefore, contact with them has dwindled down to next to nothing...they would certainly come over if we promised them a shopping spree, but quite frankly, I'm happy to go without the drama that their visits inevitably create. Yes, SO misses them but he isn't about to bribe them in order for them to grace him/us with their presence.

Superstopmommy's picture

Submitted by Superstopmommy on Mon, 01/30/2012 - 2:22pm

My BD has that same issue except in reverse... her "DAD" never wanted to see her, even with a court order. I got tired of having her ready to go ~ She would call and ask if they could get together for the weekend (he always replied with "I may be busy") She is 19 now and always states "I will not be bought by my father" She refused to visit him at Christmas. Gifts were not enough to lure her in.

GoodbyeNormaJean's picture

Submitted by GoodbyeNormaJean on Sun, 01/29/2012 - 10:10pm

We are custodial, so the BMs don't get to keep them over whether the kids want to stay or not. That said, we DO NOT allow the kids to call their moms and ask to skip visitation. It's court ordered, and they are children. They don't get to control plans. The adults will make the plans around here.

cryingmama's picture

Submitted by cryingmama on Mon, 01/30/2012 - 7:42am

Is this visitation court ordered? Who does he live with you or bm?

For about 6 months, well longer really my dh's was pulling this sort of stuff. Now mt ss is 12 and i have a sd9 . Because my ss is 12 we thought we would give him space until we realized bm was encouraging him not to come. Dh took her to court the judge told her she could have her kids taken away from her for this. If you have a court order tell her she is in contempt and if it contunues you will take her to court. then do it.

When i say you i mean dh. Also in our case when dh confronted bm she said so what take to court that is why he ended up doing it. It was the best thing even at 12 a child is still easily manipulated by their parents.