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Am I wrong to feel this way?

midnyt's picture

Submitted by midnyt on Sat, 12/10/2011 - 12:12am

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Ok, I think I may possibly be being unreasonable here, could you guys please let me know what you think??

Ok, so last sunday I had pains in my chest, a trip to the Dr turned into a trip to the ER and a 4 day stay in hospital with pulmonary embolism in both lungs, so I get out of hospital late Wed night on the condition that I inject myself twice a day with blood thinners and have spent the last few days resting. So, come the weekend and SS refuses yet again to come and stay at our house and see BF. So BF gets up at the crack of this morning and goes to sus out a place where he can take SS fishing tomorrow, gone for 7hrs this morning and then will be gone for god knows how long tomorrow.........

SS doesnt want to come here so BF is going out of his way to do things for him and well, I kinda need his assistance with my injections and my boys, so my question is this, do I have the right to be pissed off here or am I being a little unreasonable??

oneoffour's picture

Submitted by oneoffour on Sat, 12/10/2011 - 12:25am

Pissed off is VERY reasonable.

Ask your BF to stay home and help you out this one time. You cannot assume he knows what you are thinking.

If he makes excuses this gives you your answer. I would be moved out as soon as possible.

Kes's picture

Submitted by Kes on Sat, 12/10/2011 - 6:30am

This is potentially a very serious health problem you have - I am a little surprised they let you out of hospital after such a short time. At the very least you should have someone with you to monitor the situation for a few days till you are clearly on the mend. BF is being unreasonable and uncaring about your welfare.

giveitago's picture

Submitted by giveitago on Sat, 12/10/2011 - 9:29am

Ask him if he's aware of the potential risks to your health and tell him you need some support, physically, and emotionally since it's a tough time for you right now.
I am guessing you are one of the 'capable' folks and he could just assume that you have everything under control? Unless I say I need help with something DH takes it as read that I 'have it'. When I tell him I need help he is there for me and will do anything I ask.
Not knowing the history I cannot say but I'd guess that SS has ill feelings towards you, probably fostered by his mother. Your BF is between a rock and a hard place too. If he tries to please all of the people all of the time then he's going to lose out.
If it's a CO weekend then he might not have a choice but to take the boy somewhere?
You were sick, in hospital, you need aftercare and help around the house and with the kids.
Suggest that he takes the boy fishing for half the day and spends the other half with you? I am willing to bet that you can work it out with him on a reasonable level if you clearly demonstrate that you are aware of his perspective and ask him what he thinks could be a workable plan.

qtpie013178's picture

Submitted by qtpie013178 on Sat, 12/10/2011 - 11:44am

You have every right to be upset. Husband needs to tell stepson if he can't come over, he'll have to wait until you are better for an outing. Or husband could take all of the boys and give you a break that way.

liks's picture

Submitted by liks on Mon, 12/12/2011 - 1:02pm

I would be screaming BLUE MURDER!!!

Damn the ss and his 'daddy take me somewhere or im not coming over' crap.....your BF needs to realise that you come first....in sickness or in health.....then the damn kids....

If I was in your situation, I would have packed my bags and gone home to mom.....tell him to stick his child and his fishing rod up his arse sideways!

I bet you that if things were the other way around - you wouldnt even consider going away from him.....

meh....men!

midnyt's picture

Submitted by midnyt on Fri, 12/16/2011 - 2:18am

I was a little surprised they let me out of hospital so soon too, however, I am not a very good patient and dont really take to being stuck in hospital all that well, as soon as I could demonstrate that I could inject myself twice a day they let me go home, I guess they figured I could do it just as well as the nurses and it frees up a bed when they are currently in shortage due to nurses strike (man those nurses deserve everything they ask for and more with the shit they have to put up with lol)

So SS11 asks BF if he could take him out in the boat instead of fishing on the river and BF says "sure, how about you come give me a hand to get the boat ready, theres a lot to be done before we can launch it" SS11 says "No, I am going to stay and help grandma (MiL) finish painting the house, which pisses BF off but he comes home to get the boat ready anyway and asks if he can take BS7 out with him and when I say yes then proceeds to tell me that SS and grandpa are going to, so i automatically say no, BF thought perhaps if BS7 went with them he could show SS11 how much fun he was missing out on.......I think not!!

Anyway, after my post sat evening I ended up back in hospital with chest pains again, given my recent history they pumped me full of pain killers and sent me home.......wasnt as simple as that but that is the bare bones of it. Needless to say the fishing trip was off!!

He does realise how serious it is, he was there when the haemotologist told me that had the clots hit my heart and not my lungs they would have killed me instantly, and he was also aware of the treatment that I had decided to go with (I discussed my options with him first before deciding) and was very willing to assist me with the injections if he could (and he does) I think he may possibly have had a sudden realisation that life can be very fragile, he wanted to redouble his efforts with his bratty selfish self centred self absorbed my way or the highway son.

Still, I was pissed that he even considered it!!