Not Sure
Hi All,
not sure if i need to vent or need advice or just maybe need to get it all out.....
So, I have posted on here a few times and gotten some really great advice but just bits and pieces of whats going on. Here is the full story, might be a long post but I will try and truncate it a bit.
Met my BF on a dating site in Nov of 2010, didnt want a relationship as I had only been seperated for like 3 months at the time, but he did. So 2 months later we decided to give the relationship thing a try. i knew he had a son and he knew I had 2 sons. Today we have officially been together 12 months.
We have had lots of issues throughout the 12mths, from his son disliking me from day 1 and now refuses to come to our house, to him still being on dating sites, which he assured me was purely from a flirting thing and he would never actually cheat on me. This christmas just gone was pure hell. I was in hospital at the start of Dec with blood clots on the lungs, my best friends father died 3 days before Christmas and then I caught my BF yet again on a site, and yes I am still with him, I know some of you will say pack and run.
So as mentioned before his son refuses to come here unless there is something in it for him, eg going fishing in the tinny. And yet BF buys him an ipod touch coz thats what he wanted, even though money was tight and we had agreed not to buy anything for each other, but he wouldnt come and spend any of Christmas day with his father. My family spend the entire holidays at our beach house (15 of us in a 3 bedroom house YAY not) We have seen him twice since Christmas day. Once on boxing day and then one other day when he went out fishing with BF and then went to the beach with the rest of us. When we got home he threw a tanty and wanted to go back to his grandmothers (BF's mum) So BF gives in and calls his step dad (BF's step dad).
So roll on to New Years and BF on a whim decideds he wants to propose, only we were at my best friends house and her partner pops the question exactly at midnight which killed his moment. I would have said no, given that he was drunk and all that had happened at Christmas. He told me what he had planned, but hadnt bought a ring or spoken to my dad etc, so then told me he would wait for a special occasion (WTF?? wouldnt getting engaged be classified as a special occasion??) so, anyway, he hasnt mentioned it since, which leaves me wondering why, I am not sure I would say yes but to me thats not the point, if he was so keen on it why has he dropped the matter entirely?
So today BF's mum calls and as usual he walks away to where I cant hear the conversation but he can still see me, I got snatches of it and the general gist was why he hadnt seen his son who is away at BM's mums house (he wasnt told that his son was going there, BM just sent him). I am really starting to resent his son and his mother. The kids go back to school next week so I assume we will be back to the usual begging and pleading for son to come see him and the usual whats in if for me will ensue.......
Anyways, there has been lots more happen but thats about it in a nutshell!!
thanx heaps for letting me get it out!!
Yes and no, he was still on
Yes and no, he was still on the one I met him on and we shut that one down together, then around my birthday last year discovered he was on another one when he logged into his email at my house and left it logged in, so naturally I saw the emails and when I confronted him he denied it at first even though I had proof and then eventually admitted it and we deleted the profile together, he promised he wouldnt do it again and i had full access to his email and mobile. Christmas night I checked his phone and discovered he was on a new one and txting some chick and I went off my chops and told him to pack his stuff and leave (in not so nice terms!!) but I love him and so allowed him to talk me round (not sure if that makes me an idiot or not?) but I made sure he knew that if I ever caught him again that would be it, and it will be love or no love.
His son is 11 and yes still throwing tantrums.......he says he doesnt feel comfortable or welcome here so wont come, unless he wants to do something, like a fishing trip or a day out etc, but then refuses to stay and wants to go home, usually back to his grandmothers. We were planning to go to an open air concert last weekend, and the day his son came and threw a tantrum in front of my whole family coz he wanted to go back to his grandmothers, he asked if he and his father were going. My kids werent going so he definately wasnt and was told that he wouldnt be going, BF told him that it was just him and i going. I think that sparked off the tantrum.......
I met my bf about a year ago
I met my bf about a year ago also, on a dating site. What your bf is doing is WRONG. I can't even imagine being in a relationship like that. I love my bf to pieces, he is an awesome guy. I mean, AWESOME. He screws up, but not because he doesn't love me, because he's a guy, so I pick my battles. But I would NEVER EVER EVER allow him to do what your boyfriend is doing. I'd rather be alone than feel like you must be feeling. You need to think more of yourself, and not be dependent on your bf for ANYTHING. You should never feel like you can't walk out of a relationship if you need to in order to put yourself first. You staying shows that you are putting him before you. All the other things don't matter. He is disrespectful and sketchy. I don't even know you, but you deserve better.