help! what to say to sd8 when I pick her up today?!!?
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:O ok, its our weekend with the lil' thief and I want some answers! She dropped the "I stole your ring" bomb last time. And I WANT IT BACK! I will have an hour with them in the car alone on the way home. What do I say to convince an 8yr old to return my ring?? I've tried begging, threats, yelling and crying. This kid is heartless! Any advice on what to say/do to get her to spill her guts about what happened to it?? I'm at the end of my rope here!
Any advice is SO appreciated! Thanks in advance. This site has truly saved my sanity!
A) Refuse to pick her
A) Refuse to pick her up
Refuse to have her in your home until she admits it to her father and returns the ring
and
c)Apologises to you and OH.
She may no longer have the
She may no longer have the ring.
DH's daughter stole an
DH's daughter stole an article of my daughter's clothing from my home, and she is not allowed back into our house. I have my husband's full support on this. She is not remorseful, God knows what she has stolen before, and I will not have a thief in my home.
Why on earth are you even picking her up???????
Disney, that is my fear.
Disney, that is my fear.
You've all given me great ideas. I'll let you know how this goes today.
Step Mum, at first, my daughter, then me, then her Dad.
I agree with the above
I agree with the above posters. And if your DH doesn't see it this way and wants to make excuses for his budding felon, then it's best to part ways now before another five years passes and she's committing axe murders.
I agree with getting the
I agree with getting the authorities involved... hopefully to scare her straight, and to show her what happens in the REAL WORLD when a person steals another person's stuff.
And then? I'd have her do community service work around the house/yard. For a very long time (providing you allow her back).
I can't believe your DH knows and hasn't done anything. IMHO, if he's not willing to do whatever it takes to get something back for you that was 1) extremely special to you, and 2) STOLEN from you then I'd have to tell him (not ask, not wonder) you don't appreciate NOT being a priority to him.
Sd5 just told me she
Sd5 just told me she definitely, with out a doubt, 100% took my ring! She has it in a box under her bed!!! If Dh won't call the police, I WILL!!!
More later, I haven't even made it home with them yet! I'm shaking so bad I just wanna cry and scream!
You did. Thank you, its
You did. Thank you, its excellent advice. I'm gonna take it!
Well, I'm officially PISSED,
Well, I'm officially PISSED, hurt, depressed, brokenhearted, and unappreciated! She LIED TO HIS FACE, turned on those tears, and he bought it! Hook, line, and sinker! I just lost respect for Dh big time!
Why can't HE SEE she's lying, I damn sure can! She changes her story every time she's fucking here!!!! I'm sorry for the language, I'm SO angry at BOTH of them! All day he made me believe he was on my side, the minute the little angel get outta my car he scoops he up and pats her head and tells her its ok.......UM, WTFH, NO its not buddy, not by a long shot! I just wanna get in my car and drive till there's no more gas and see where I end up!
I've had similar problems
I've had similar problems with my DW when it comes to SD17. DW ***always*** takes SD17's word over mine. It is very hurtful and frustrating.
She has it in a box under her
She has it in a box under her bed where? At bm's house? Call the police in bm's town & tell them she is in posession of stolen property.
I agree, call the police,
I agree, call the police, scare the crap outta her & show your DH that his little princess is pathological. When he says that you didn't need to go to such extremes, tell him, "maybe I wouldn't have if you just believed me in the first place."
Time to show your DH what
Time to show your DH what this is doing to your relationship, because he and his child are damaging it believe you me.
I would still do exactly what I suggested in my first post (top one) and I completely agree about filing a police report, ensure you tell them the reason why this ring is so precious to you and enquire about the possibility of whether they are able to search her room in line with the investigation (in fact you could make some enquiries with the police about what they can do before filing an official complaint) . I KNOW this sounds extreme and you must be worried that if you do this how DH will react, along with sd and her mother. I guess you need to ask yourself what is more important to you:
Whether DH will be angry, shocked and upset, damages your relationship (just what is happening anyway) VS doing what your DH is doing to you - not supporting you, the reality of never getting this ring back, the possibility sd could steal anything that is precious of yours with no consequence and having to live with this girl in your home knowing she has your ring?!
Delilah, that is my biggest
Delilah, that is my biggest problem! Dh says I've had a "grudge" against her for a while. And I do! In the beginning of our relationship she would show her ass in school, run out the door, kick teachers, slapped the principle. Dh would get in the car and run to her aid, or Bm's aid. It lead to Dh and Bm sleeping together.
SO, yeah, big grudge! Had she had her ass tore up for acting out in such a way it would have never happened.
If one of my kids even looks crosseyed at a teacher I'd cut their butt! This kid was and is a nightmare!
I texted back and forth with her grandmother, she looked and says she doesn't see it. Sd5 tells me she will bring it to me on their next visit. Do I wait and see if she will, I'm told by her grandmother she "makes things up" or just call the police and what will be, will be?
Bubbly - seriously? Is your
Bubbly - seriously? Is your DH THAT deluded?!! You havent got a grudge against HER, you have one against DH for the fact he slept with his ex while married to you! It doesnt take a genuis to work that out considering most people would feel exactly the same way.
As for listening to any drivel that apparently comes out of DH's mouth, its just not worth it. This man clearly will say anything in order to prevent you from challenging this behaviour and recent theft, THAT is more important to him than your ring.
Urgh, I am so angry on your behalf I cant tell you. I told my own DH about this post, and he was shocked at your DH's behaviour. How many times is he prepared to break your heart with his selfishness? He is keen for a quiet life and to hell with you.
SD5 is only a child, how reliable is she? I would still have a chat with the Police. I am in the UK and you are able to speak to local Officers if there are issues in terms of getting advice on what they can do etc BEFORE making a formal complaint. I would do without informing DH. Give the police your mobile number and tell them to contact you on that, as your DH doesnt support you on this so you dont want him knowing. Find out what your rights are, what can be done and empower yourself - then you can decide what to do in terms of waiting to see if sd5 is able to retrieve it or filing a report with the police.
First things first, you need to resolve this and then decide on how to deal with sd8 and DH.
Believe me, I make NO excuses
Believe me, I make NO excuses for infidelity. We had only been seeing one another for a week or two when this happened. That's the ONLY reason I forgave him.
On their last visit, she said she took it, he cut her butt. Now this visit, she didn't take it and everything is lovey dovey. I do not understand? Maybe because I see my kids everyday, if they took something that didn't belong to them, they would return it, probably with a police escort, called by me. I will speak to an officer here, and see what my rights are. This has gotten far beyond my capibilities. The only logical step here is calling the police Monday morning. I am not being unreasonable in wanting MY ring returned, and I refuse to be made to feel that way any longer!
I spent 9 years with a man
I spent 9 years with a man who abused me to the point that I'm physically disabled. My dh has maybe raised his voice to me 2 times in almost three years. He is loving, kind, sweet the list goes on.
I'll share one story that will stick with me forever.
We had just started dating, I drove to his place for the weekend. Things had been so hot and heavy we forgot to eat! Tummy's grumbling we got in the shower to go grab some food. During said shower, I passed out! I woke up to, the shower off, door opened, towel covering me, and dh fanning my face looking worried sick! He had noticed me looking wobbly, caught me as I fell (not a bump or bruse on me when I woke) and covered me up! I knew right then, if he asked me to marry him it would be a big YES!
We are from the south, he was raised by his grandmother to be a southern gentleman. And he IS. He opens doors, pulls out chairs, still says yes or no ma'am to me, and says "thank you I enjoyed it after every meal (even if I burned it!)
Yes, we have problems reguarding HIS brats and bm. Yes, he cheated one time, with his then wife of 7 years. But, had I walked away then and there, I would have walked away from my soul mate, my other half. We are more alike than different. Do I trust him now? Completely. If I thought for one minute he would do it again, I'd have been gone! He doesn't know why he did it, she(bm) can't explain it either. I've done research online, and come up with some pretty viable answers on my own. Closure, finality of the end of their marriage. Stuff of that nature. His ex stood on the side of the road and begged me to forgive him (I WAS leaving). And I had to pause, if my ex cheated on his gf, I'd tell her to run for her life!! Here is this woman, begging me, to give HER ex another chance. I've got to at least try. Not once have I been sorry I did.
Cheating has always been a deal breaker for me too! I don't know why this time, this man, was different? But, I've gotta tell ya, all sbrat crap aside, I'm glad he was.
Sorry for the legnth, I felt the need to explain and defend my man a little (lol)
I bought a digital voice
I bought a digital voice recorder to do just that! Thanks Stepmomma!