What's the best communication method with an ex?
Forums:
We have had difficulty with BF's ex wife for years in regards to communication. She likes to keep him on the phone for excessive lengths of time and it is so annoying. BF FINALLY realizes this manipulation and now chooses to text as much as possible with simple questions (SD is 15) BM demands a phone call or and won't answer a simple text question. I view this as very manipulative and needy. What do you think?
That's just crazy behavior,
That's just crazy behavior, who ended their relationship, him or her. I guess I'm lucky DH and BM would be perfectly content to not have to talk at all. lol
She cheated on him and he
She cheated on him and he left. She married that guy but is now divorced from him. BM has three different kids from three different men and divorced for the third time.
We only call in emergencies,
We only call in emergencies, otherwise we text and we do it as little as possible.
Text and I would make up and
Text and I would make up and email just for her to send emails to and make sure you and your boyfriend have the password.
This is what I suggested to
This is what I suggested to my FDH and he thought I was being ridiculous
But at least he's trying to only communicate though email and text. It was so hard to get him to finally start doing that though, and although he agrees, I think he is just doing it for me, because I say so.
Still, BM is so difficult with it, and she will text him over and over again, "I just need to talk over the phone about (such and such) arrangements... I don't want to do it over text... I won't get argumentative... we need to communicate and discuss this" etc. Hey BM: Couldn't you have typed out what you had to say in the time in took to argue about how the message gets across? Oh and the new trick that she uses is to call him from another phone so that he will at least pick up, and once she has him on the phone he can't hang up or she threatens to take him to court for not being willing to communicate about the kids... really?!?
This is exactly what the BM
This is exactly what the BM in our situation does. BF finally resorted to text only because she called endlessly for no valid reason. BF would screen her calls and she would have SD call and then take the phone from her. Now it's text only and she hates it. She thinks that he should be available to her 24/7 especially when she has SD.
Why do some BM have to be so
Why do some BM have to be so NEEDY? I am also a BM and prefer to not talk to my ex if I don't have to. Text is fine and sometimes I just find out though the boys.17 an 19 now. no need to talk to him
My H tries to keep it text
My H tries to keep it text only. But BM says the "texts look funny sometimes so she doesnt know what it says" so she has to call. And if she doesnt get a response to her text in an appropriate amount of time, she'll call. Then if my H doesnt pick up his phone, BM will call his mom, my MIL, then SIL, then call his phone again. She has my number too but I dont make the list. Oh well guess its not that important }:)
I also told my H to start doing email. He works with email all day at work anyways so its not a stretch. BM would call him mid day at work- so obviously hes busy and when Id message him later to ask whats up, he wouldnt remember half of what he or she said, so... now he pushes for emails too.
Still theres more missed calls from BM than emails or texts combined.
I think I should start answering his phone, but then id have to talk to her...
I bet she would stop calling
I bet she would stop calling if you answered all the time just to get the point across
This is like asking the best
This is like asking the best way to poke your eye out!
As of this week, Email ONLY.
As of this week, Email ONLY. My BF text her on Tuesday after she royally peaved him off on HIS holiday monday. That was the drawing point, text her said no more contact other then Email. She's text everyday and he hasn't replied. She's called, he's put a block on her number so no idea how many times cause doesn't even show up she's called. They go to court next Thursday he's ordering a no contact thing. Hopefully it lasts and he holds his ground.
***It's been so nice and quiet, I love it:)
Dh prefers text and he
Dh prefers text and he refuses to answer her calls, he lets it got to vm and IF she leaves a mess and he needs to talk to her he will text her what ever it is. If she doesn't respond that is on her. Or if she tries to call he wont answer but text her the answer to what ever it is that is in relevance to what she wanted. It took a while and it got worse for a while but she4 finally got it that IF she wanted to talk to dh at all she had to text. Now it is to the point that she will ask to call but usually dh will say no I am working b/c that is when she thinks she can do it since I am not around. But so far it hasn't worked.
YOU might have him try that as I said it got worse for a while but she got it tht she ha to text. you jsut have to stick to it and never back down.
BM got SD15 involved and
BM got SD15 involved and tells DH(BD) "YOU NEED TO CALL MY MOM!" SD won't tell us things because BM tells her not to. She thinks that if BD doesn't call her then he won't find out information. TOTAL MANIPULATION.