An update and thanks to everyone who's been helping me. I just typed this out but it didn't post for some reason so i'll try again. long story short, my husband has had 50/50 custody of his daughter for 7 years. We've been married for 5, she's 12 years old. We have a happy family and we all get along well. His ex isn't too bad compared to some of the stuff I've read that some of you have to deal with so i feel bad for complaining. But she has made things hard for us sometimes. Shes not a bad mom but she's not a great mom. She does the bare minimum for her daughter if you know what i mean. But my stepdaughter is at an age when many girls need more time with their mom and her mom just finished cancer treatmnet. She's doing really ewll and is very healthy but of course its hard on her daughter and she wants to be close. The ex has been calling my husband saying 'my daughter needs her momma, she cries every night she has to leave me' and then she does cry when she's here, her mom and her cry on the phone together sometimes. So the ex told my husband, 'she wants to live more with me' and then his daughter told him 'i want to live more with mom' and that was really hard and they were both sad but my husband understood that it's what she needs right now. So he said okay as long as he can have two after school visits every week and every other weekend and one month in the summer. His daughter wanted every weekend here but her mom said no. So my husband moved forward and then his ex changed her mind and said she didn't think it was a good idea because she needs time with her boyfriend. She finally said to my husband in a panic because she realized that it was really happening. So he said well you need to be the one to tell our daughter why this isn't happening because she thinks it is happening after talking to you about it and after i said it's okay with me. And of couse she totally freaked out but what could she do? Her daughter needs her right now. Before you think that maybe it's the cancer and she needs her rest, she ran a half marathon last weekend. she's very strong physically. So she said yes and my stepdaughter is happy. I gave her a big hug and told her i was proud of her for speaking up for hserlf and telling the adults what she needs and that we'll miss her a lot but it'll make our time together even more special. I told her I understoond and that I love her and i always will, no matter what. She's been distant from me for the first time ever over the last few months and now i think i know now. It's hard for her to be super close to her mom and me at the same time. I think her mom makes her feel bad for being close to me. but i think it'll all work out and my husband is seeing a family counselor to make sure he's handling this transition well for his duaghter. he wants to take his daughter to the counselor too but his ex said no and he needs her to sign a release. He'll keep trying he knows it's important that she ahve someone to talk to. It's been so exhausting.

I do have a question. do you think it's a good idea to try this new schedule for 60 days and then check in with the duaghter to see how she's doing with it? That's what my husband proposed. if she likes it, then he'll file an amendment with the court for the parenting plan change and will increase his child support payments at that point. No need to do that now if we don't know if it's not going to stick right? Also he may decide to include Our Family Wizard in the parenting plan so he and his ex have no direct communication. That would change our lives since she emails and texts and calls him hundreds of times every month! We just counted them up over the last four months incase we ever need that info. It's excessive don't you think? maybe it'll get better with the new schedule but I think it'll take OFW filed with the court. We'll see.