I swear I find myself asking whether I am crazy or what when dealing with this woman! Sorry ahead of time for the long venting post about this crazy lady but i just have to get it out!

Here is my issue and you can read all the psycho details at the bottom if you want...

My Husband's ex has a new sense of control that I just don't know how to deal with. Any communication is strictly about my SD3 (schedule, sick, normal stuff). She usually texts me to manage schedules and stuff since manage the family calendar. My husband is all to willing to let me manage this schedule to avoid having to deal with her considering their history. All in all she has been relatively easy to deal with...well...until she found a loophole given her psycho ways. So communication guidelines is to only be about drop off, pick up, etc and only related to SD but what I am finding is she is texting him...what shoes should i have her wear with this outfit, what color barette should i put in her hair with pictures, my mom is driving me crazy and not sure I should let her see her..what do you think? Now I have talked to her in detail about the grandma situatuion because there is a potential harm given the details she has shared with me but then she is texting my husband and telling him what i said and asking if he agrees. He usually doesn't respond, tells her to talk to me, or a simple "K" but doesn't indulge in any more detail than that to keep it minimal and not feed anything that she would misinterpet. Believe me he is super careful on anything to avoid giving the wrong impression. She is that person that reads into the smallest detail and then assumes something all on her own...she's directing her own drama romantic movie in her head.

Now here is where my thoughts on control kick in....I honestly think given her psycho ways she is manipulating the communication arrangement because it's about SD but it's really not. I think it's some weird twisty way of having a conversation/relationship with him given their history. It's such a catch 22...he can't not respond forever because it's about his daughter but it's like some weird way to initiate conversation with him.

I don't know how to reitterate the communication agreement the best way because I can honestly see his concern and her escalating actions. I know there isn't grounds for this but i can see her stopping visitation or changing the support order just to be difficult because she isn't happy with the ongoing conversation she is having. She hasn't done anything specific yet but you know when you get that vibe from someone and just know they are trouble. My spidey senses always kick in when she is around. I know if I/He/We say anything she will argue that it has to do with SD. I feel stuck and just tired of dealing with this woman.

I am open to any advice...or find someone out there with the same psycho ex.

Background on pyscho...this lady has put my husband through the ringer for the last 10ish years. She has stalked him, she has admitted lying about having his baby that died long ago, she has circled his house all night just to mess with him, she has showed up at his work, she has called his GFs at the time and said he should be with me not you, she has stalked him on dates and started fights with other girls. It's never ending! I have asked my husband how in the hell he never got rid of this psycho and he says he has tried so many ways but she always comes back and it's easier to appease then to piss her off because she always escalates to something new. I knew some of it but not all of it. And believe me...my husband is no sissy and knows how to stand up for himself so I was surprised he had let this go on for so long until he finally opened up and told me everything. I felt horrible for him and could see how physically sick he was reliving it. She is straight up crazy but somehow she always managed to work her way back in and eventually got pregnant. My husband having been duped before completely stopped all communication. He felt horrible/guilty about leaving the baby but he just couldn't do it because he had no clue what she would do next. He paid child support for the baby but truly couldn't be around the situatuion.

I knew before we were married about the baby and some of her crap like i mentioned above but he wasn't ready to deal with her. We had a plan after we got married to reach out to her together. Well she found out about me and us getting married and started her antics again. My husband initially didn't tell me she was text stalking him because he just didn't want to stress me out with everything else going on in life (wedding, work, money, just life) and felt guilty about the whole situatuion.

After dealing with the initial shock of what she had been doing, we agreed to meet with her and it had been almost 3 years since the last time he had seen her face to face or communicated with her. We met at a public place and she didn't realize I would be there (how i don't know since we said we would like to meet) and she brought my SD whom my husband maybe saw once or twice when she was a newborn (not really his choice..she would just show up after following him to try to force a visit). My initial reaction is seriously...you are going to subject this little girl to this grown up conversation trying to figure everything out. You can't really talk with little ears...I know I have an 11 year old and he repeated everything at that age. Like I said before when my husband talked about everything i could see how sick he was talking about it. During this meeting, he literally couldn't speak, couldn't stop bouncing his leg, was sweating and just white as could be. I had to put my hand under the table on his leg to reassure him. I had never seen him react in such a way and his job requires a lot of self control and people management so I knew this was truly difficult for him to sit across from this person. Afterwards, when we talked about it he said he was really worried that she was going to do something to me because he has seen her fight people before or just punched him in the face for no reason if she didn't get her way.

At that meeting we set communication guidelines and all agreed..the past was the past. I created email just to manage the communications and ensure that we something documented if ever needed. Well life doesn't always work that easy so she eventually got my cell phone and began texting me. I have talked to this woman who can't make a decision if her life depended on it...should i cut her hair, should i move, where should she go to school, should i this should i that. It's never ending. She is just extremely needy but seemed harmless..until now.