My SS8 does that to me sometimes too and I tell him "Do I look like a dog to you?" He'll say no ma'am and I say "Then when you're in my house you will not treat me like a dog and treat me with respect cause I'm not just piece of crap on the bottom of your shoe. I'm a human being and not to mention your step-mother and I will not tolerate it after everything I have to go through for you!"

I disengaged from the SKids over a year ago. DH can deal with them, he took on board what a counsellor told him about enabling the kids and he is making the best of it now. SD is doing some introspection (both before and since her incarceration)and she realizes that I was not wrong on a lot of issues, it took a lot for her to own that and she gained more respect from me. I never lost the bond with the kids, just did not do everything they wanted! I'd refer them to their daddy, I'd simply state that it's not what I would do but it's their choice and stuff along those lines. I refused to allow them to push my buttons, so to speak, and once they realized I was not playing along they stopped trying. It took a LOT of energy to stop myself responding with a reaction though...the pay off was definately worth it.